Accurate perceptions of people

Social awareness is the ability to assess your environment and understand the emotions, needs, and perspectives of others, including how your organisation operates from a systems perspective. For leaders, what matters most is empathy, the ability to tune into the people around you, whether they are above, besides, or below you. Effective tuning in involves three key components:

1. Cognitive empathy – Understanding how others perceive a situation and seeing it from their perspective which is often described as “walking a mile in their shoes.” This includes sensing the language or mental models they use to interpret reality and communicating in a way that resonates with their inner framework.

2. Emotional empathy – Leveraging the brain’s social circuitry to instinctively and consciously connect with others. This allows leaders to sense what others are feeling, fostering real-time emotional alignment and keeping interactions on track.

3. Empathic concern (caring) – Going beyond understanding thoughts and feelings to genuinely caring about others. Leaders who demonstrate this ability build trust and rapport by showing that they value and support the people they lead.

Improvement is always possible

Self-management is the ability to regulate and control your emotions, thoughts, and behaviours effectively. It consists of four key components:

  1. Self-control – Managing upsetting emotions to maintain focus and emotional balance.

  2. Positive outlook – Seeing the bright side of situations, even in the face of challenges.

  3. Adaptability – Adjusting to changing circumstances while embracing a growth mindset. It’s the belief that improvement is always possible.

  4. Achievement orientation – Staying focused on meaningful goals despite daily distractions. Goal-setting also serves as a powerful tool for emotional self-management.

Self-awareness is key

Self-awareness is the ability to understand your emotions and how they shape your perceptions, thoughts, and impulses to act. Emotional self-awareness helps direct our attention, making it crucial to recognise what we are feeling, how intensely we feel it, and where it is guiding our focus - since attention ultimately shapes our reality. I think being aware of how emotions influence attention provides a valuable diagnosis of our current state. Maturity, in this context, involves widening the gap between impulse and action.

Although self-awareness is the least visible aspect of emotional intelligence, research indicates that individuals with low self-awareness struggle to develop strengths in other areas of EQ. By contrast, those with high emotional intelligence consistently achieve excellence across various domains.

The cornerstone of trust

Emotional intelligence (EQ) involves recognising, understanding, and managing one's own emotions, as well as influencing the emotions of others. Daniel Goleman's research indicates a strong correlation between high emotional intelligence and exceptional leadership performance. Unlike IQ, which remains relatively constant throughout life, EQ can be developed and enhanced at any stage. Harvard University emphasises the importance of emotional intelligence in leadership, offering programs designed to help leaders build trust, manage difficult discussions, and enhance team performance through improved emotional intelligence.

Over the next four days I will be writing about self-awareness, self-management, social awareness and relational management as these are the cornerstones of EQ.

Hypothesis testing

It’s the 1st January, and I think these are the steps to form a hypothesis:

  1. Ask a question
    Identify the problem or topic you want to explore.

  2. Conduct preliminary research
    Gather background information to understand the context.

  3. Define your variables
    Identify the independent (cause) and dependent (effect) variables.

  4. Formulate your hypothesis
    Phrase it as an if-then statement to predict the relationship between variables.

  5. Test your hypothesis
    Design an experiment or observation to collect data.

  6. Revise if needed
    Based on data, refine and adjust your hypothesis if necessary.

Questions to ask yourself

As we are in the last day of 2024, here are some questions to reflect on:

  1. What are you thinking right now?

    • What patterns or themes do you notice in these thoughts?

  2. Why are you choosing to think this thought?

    • Is this thought serving you, or is it holding you back?

  3. How does this thought feel?

    • What emotions are tied to it, and how are they influencing your actions?

  4. What thought is causing the way I feel right now?

    • How can I reframe this thought to shift my mindset or energy?

As you reflect on these questions, take a moment to write down any insights or patterns that stand out. What shifts do you want to make heading into 2025? If you’re ready to explore these thoughts further and create a plan for the year ahead, contact me via email for a free 30-minute discovery session. Together, we can build momentum and set you up for success!

Mind the gap

It’s all about bridging the gap, whether that gap is about money, experience, or opportunity. At the core, it starts with respect and reverence for where we’ve come from, but it doesn’t stop there. It’s going to take a mindset shift, one that challenges traditional leadership to step up, open the gates, and create space for people to show up as their most genuine, unfiltered selves. I think real change management is meeting people where they are and walking with them toward what’s possible.

Guidance and protection

Inclusion starts with intentionality, whether it’s the way I move through the world, interact with others, or create space for collaboration and growth. Just as my personal practices have taught me to trust my body and mind, they have also taught me to trust the value of diverse voices and experiences. The diversity of my being allows me to show up authentically, whether I’m working in a professional setting or connecting with others in my personal life. It reminds me that balance isn’t about perfection but about creating harmony and openness, both within myself and in the world around me.

Teach them how to fish

Human beings are more likely to commit to and remain loyal to decisions they make for themselves, rather than following instructions imposed by others about what they should do, think, or feel. That's why I don’t give my clients advice, I prefer to metaphorically teach them how to fish, rather than simply handing them a fish dinner. True empowerment comes not from showcasing my own intelligence, but from leveraging my curiosity to deeply explore their challenges.

““Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man how to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.””
— Unknown

Trust yourself

The certainty I have as a coach is grounded in the curiosity I bring to my questions. My coaching language is intentionally simple, inspired by childlike curiosity, and supported by a deep understanding of human behaviour. I believe there is no problem I cannot help my clients navigate because the answers already reside within them. With millions of people facing millions of challenges, it’s not my role to provide solutions but to empower clients to uncover their own. My calmness in coaching stems from this belief—that whoever holds the problem also holds the solution. This perspective is profoundly liberating, as it allows me to approach every session with curiosity, guiding clients through thoughtful questions that lead them to discover their own answers.

If you're ready to unlock solutions to your challenges and gain clarity through meaningful conversations, I invite you to book a free 30-minute discovery meeting with me via email. Let’s explore how coaching can support your growth and success.

Super Bowl LVII

In 2023, Rihanna turned a 13-minute Super Bowl performance into a $250 million windfall - all without earning a cent from the NFL or boosting album sales. How? Through one genius move that redefined the halftime show as a platform for brand storytelling. The Super Bowl, with over 113 million viewers, is one of the most-watched events globally. While the NFL covers production costs, it doesn’t pay performers, who typically use the stage to promote tours or albums. But Rihanna, who hadn’t performed live in seven years and had no new music to promote, saw an untapped opportunity: the halftime show as the world’s most valuable advertising slot.

Mid-performance, she casually used Fenty Beauty’s Invisimatte Blotting Powder compact, a seemingly spontaneous moment that exploded across social media and news outlets. But this was no coincidence. Fenty Beauty had launched new products just days earlier, and Rihanna’s on-stage touch-up drove massive online searches, leading consumers straight to fresh offerings. This strategy aligned perfectly with Fenty’s inclusive ethos, appealing to the Super Bowl’s diverse audience. As a trailblazing Black entrepreneur owning 50% of a $2.8 billion beauty empire, Rihanna’s performance embodied Fenty’s values. The results were extraordinary: Google Trends reported a spike in searches for Fenty Beauty, and analysts estimated $250 million in sales in the months following.

Rihanna’s visionary approach showcased the power of authentic brand building, proving the future of music isn’t just about streaming - it’s about fostering human connection through shared experiences. I think her halftime show wasn’t just entertainment; it was a masterclass in leveraging culture to drive commerce.

It's a niche market

As we approach 2025, the leadership coaching industry is experiencing significant growth and transformation. The number of certified coach practitioners worldwide surged from 71,000 in 2019 to 109,200 in 2022, marking a 54% increase. This expansion underscores the importance of clear positioning in a competitive market. My focus is on delivering unique value that resonates with clients seeking distinctive solutions and I invite you to join the conversation.

Let's discuss the challenges you face and explore various approaches to leadership development. Together, we can evaluate the pros and cons of each method to determine the best path forward. This isn't about prescribing solutions; it's about engaging in meaningful dialogue and sharing insights that matter. Your perspective is invaluable as we navigate the evolving landscape of leadership coaching. Contact me via email for a “free” 30 minute discovery meeting.

Language is vital

Curiosity becomes even more powerful when paired with knowledge. I mean the knowledge of how the brain works, how humans form beliefs, how trauma can be released from the body, and how conflicts of values and identities can be resolved. In my coaching sessions, I build on this foundation of curiosity by layering high-level questions as I believe this is where real transformation happens. People’s beliefs often reveal themselves through their language although most of the time, they don’t even notice it. That’s why I focus on active listening. I just let go of any attachment to what I think I might need and simply stay present. And when I do, the words my clients speak naturally guide me to the next question, the one that could change everything.

A good asking machine

I don’t know anyone who’s afraid of their ability to be curious, but I do know plenty of people who fear not having all the right answers. The power of coaching lies in curiosity, because coaching isn’t about having answers; it’s about asking questions. I think the best coaches are not the ones with the best answers, they are the ones with the best questions. That’s why I don’t want to be an answering machine, I prefer to be a good asking machine.

Find your way forward

Feeling stuck often stems from a lack of direction or purpose. When this happens, I think it’s worth reflecting on key areas of personal growth that might need attention:

  • Confidence – Do you believe in your abilities and decisions?

  • Mindset – Are your thoughts supporting or hindering your progress?

  • Boundaries – Are you protecting your time, energy, and values?

  • Discipline – Are you consistently showing up for your goals?

  • Communication Skills – Can you effectively express yourself and your needs?

  • Self-Respect – Are you treating yourself with the dignity you deserve?

If you’re ready to explore your next steps, contact me via email to arrange a free 30-minute discovery call.

Direct and decide

c/o Shutterstock

There are moments in life when we become deeply aware of the direction we want to take. It’s in these moments that we commit to action, deciding to move forward with intention. While no one can provide a universal framework for what is true or important to you, I can offer a starting point to help you decide where to begin.

When making career decisions, consider these four key determinants:
1.     Leverage – What resources, skills, or connections can you utilize?
2.     Ease – How accessible or straightforward is this path?
3.     Risk – What are the potential downsides or uncertainties?
4.     Return – What is the reward, personally or professionally?

If you’re ready to explore your next steps, contact me via email to arrange a free 30-minute discovery call.

Let go in order to grow

In life, we accumulate lessons, stories, mindsets, and skill sets that once served us. We often believe we need to carry them with us indefinitely, just in case they prove useful again. This baggage - both mental and emotional - becomes a shield, keeping us guarded and blocking out new opportunities or perspectives. We tell ourselves, "It wasn’t true back then, so how can it be true now?" As a result, we hold onto outdated mindsets, strategies, and ideas that no longer serve our present or future selves. We cling to remnants like old worksheets or unnecessary packaging, thinking, "Maybe one day I’ll need this." Growth requires us to let go and by releasing what no longer matters, we make room for new experiences, insights, and opportunities to take root.

““In the end only three things matter. How much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you.” ”
— Buddha

Bump and hustle

You can’t grow yourself until you know yourself, and self-awareness is the foundation of personal growth. It’s difficult to improve without understanding who you are and where you stand. Much of my own self-awareness came from people who cared enough to point out areas where I needed to make changes in my life. I’ve learned that self-awareness is a continuous process, one that requires regular reflection. I often ask myself, what am I optimising for? The answer can vary for everyone, and it shifts over time as our goals and priorities evolve. This is why it’s crucial to revisit this question periodically to remain aware of how you’ve changed and whether your current habits can carry you toward your desired future. Sometimes, the habits that served the “old you” won’t be enough for the “current you.” When what you’re optimising for shifts, your habits must shift too. I find it helpful to have a regular process of reflection and review to stay self-aware, identify changes, and adapt my habits to align with my evolving goals.