My father was a proud man, he was kind, considerate, and loving. I would describe him as a true patriarch, a hardworking individual who led by example. He had a gift for storytelling, effortlessly weaving Jamaican proverbs into his words, sharing wisdom, humour, and life lessons with those around him. Now, he rests with my mother and our ancestors.
Thank you, dad.
The funeral (part three)
My father had a deep connection to our ancestors and believed that those who passed before us left something within us, a timeless body of wisdom. In every community, certain individuals are chosen to access this spiritual knowledge. It was only after moving to Denmark that I began to understand the bridge between what the wise have long known and what the young are still striving to learn. There are lessons we have yet to experience, yet they are lessons that those before us have already navigated. My father’s legacy has been left in every life that he ever touched.
The funeral (part two)
““The winds that sometimes take something we love, are the same that bring us something we learn to love. Therefore, we should not cry about something that was taken from us, but, yes, love what we have been given. Because what is really ours is never gone forever.” ”
I ended my tribute with this beautiful and reflective quote from Bob Marley. It speaks to the cyclical nature of life—loss and gain, endings and new beginnings. It encourages gratitude and resilience, reminding us that what truly belongs to us, in essence, never really disappears. It served as a powerful anchor, exploring both loss and the lessons of love that remain.
The funeral
My father had no desire to play the fool, pretending he had all the answers to life's questions. Quite the contrary. So today, I begin with a tribute - an exploration and an exercise in self-reflection. In other words, I want to look back on my relationship with my father throughout his long and complicated life, with all its twists and turns.
A way of life
According to the teachings of the ancient Chinese master Lao-Tzu, the Four Cardinal Virtues offer a path to transcend habits and excuses, guiding you back to your original nature. The more you align your life with these virtues, the less control your ego has over you, allowing you to access the full power of source energy.
The first virtue, reverence for life, emphasises unconditional love and respect for all beings. Natural sincerityencourages authenticity and emotional honesty, embracing the mantra: “This is who I am, and this is how I feel”. Gentleness serves as an umbrella for forgiveness, acceptance, and love, fostering inner peace and harmonious relationships. Finally, supportiveness reflects selfless service to others, offering help without expectation of reward. I think by embodying these virtues, one cultivates a life of balance, compassion, and deeper connection to the world.
““Even after all this time, the sun never says to the earth ‘you owe me.’””
Dedicated to my late father
Language shapes our perceptions, emotions, and interactions, influencing how we see the world and those around us. The words we choose, whether consciously or unconsciously, carry weight. Consider the difference between loneliness and solitude; one evokes isolation, while the other suggests peace and self-reflection. Every word is like a seed, it can grow into a weed that chokes our perspective or a flower that fosters understanding and connection. Hate, whether personal or collective, has never been a path to greatness. It narrows our vision, preventing us from recognising goodness, progress, or possibility. If we seek growth, connection, and impact, our words must plant the right seeds.
The privilege of invisibility
Humans tend to judge others based on the most visible and easiest characteristics to perceive. This behaviour can be traced back to our evolutionary history, as early humans relied on quick assessments of their environment and others for survival. Recognising friend from foe, identifying members of their group, and judging potential threats were crucial for avoiding danger and ensuring the survival of the fittest.
In modern society, these deeply ingrained instincts persist, often manifesting as biases based on skin colour, size, or other physical traits. For me, as a Black person who is 2 meters tall and weighs over 100 kilograms, I stand out, and I don’t have the luxury of getting mad as I am perceived as a threat before I even open my mouth.
This visibility also brings opportunities, for example, standing out makes me more memorable in both professional and social settings, which is advantageous when networking or building connections. My physical presence can naturally command attention, making it easier to step into leadership roles or influence group dynamics. Additionally, visibility amplifies my voice when advocating for important causes or challenging inequalities, as people are more likely to notice and listen. Finally, for those who feel underrepresented, my presence can serve as a source of inspiration, showing that it’s possible to break barriers and thrive despite societal biases.
It’s easier to judge someone based on their skin colour than their skills, character, or beliefs. In today’s world, you can look at someone from 100 meters away and form a judgment about them solely based on their skin colour, long before you know any other aspects of their identity, such as their sexual orientation or religion.
Message to self on my birthday
Be humble and kind, but know your worth.
Be honest - character is a door opener.
Be grateful - luck seeks the thankful.
Be generous - givers often end up with more.
Be courageous - artists believe in their craft.
Be forgiving - no one is perfect.
Be you - because you matter.
No fear
I’m not afraid to be vulnerable, therefore, I follow these three rules:
Do the right thing.
Do your best.
Always show people that you care.
Because until people know you care, they won't care to follow you.
Julefrokost
London baby
10 things that require discipline, not talent:
• Consistent sleep routines
• Eating healthier
• Honesty
• Journaling
• Kindness
• Laughing out loud
• Playing
• Reading
• Saying ‘please and thank you’
• Spending time in nature
• Staying in touch with friends
Be careful out there
It’s challenging to hold the attention of someone determined to be bored. When a person is selfish, self-absorbed, or narcissistic, they gauge the value of your actions solely by how much satisfaction you bring them. In other words, they're content with your efforts as long as you cater to their desires. However, the moment they tire of what you offer, they’ll demand you change to better suit their whims. The truth is, selfish people are never truly satisfied, and the arrogant are never easily appeased. So, if you notice that your ongoing efforts have no lasting impact on such individuals, and that their happiness depends entirely on you meeting their expectations. it’s worth recognising this dynamic as hazardous to your emotional well-being. Prioritising your emotional health is crucial, and knowing when to step back can be empowering.
““If the roots are strong, the tree need not fear the wind.” ”
It may be offensive
c/o Gillette
When I speak to others, my words must either inform, inspire, support, or bring laughter; otherwise, I choose to remain silent. If the conversation could turn hostile, involve anger or revenge, focus on right and wrong, or risk making someone feel unhappy or hurt, I pause instead. I wait until I can say something that will either inform, inspire them to grow, offer support, or bring laughter. Remember, comments from others can never bring you down!
““No one can make a fool of you without your consent.””
What's the challenge?
Image c/o LinkedIn
I have become both a sponge and a filter, absorbing everything while carefully choosing what to amplify. On one hand, I want to give voice to important topics, but on the other, I don’t want those topics to be solely associated with me. There’s a risk of losing myself or making it seem like the issue is about me, which could undermine the message. My challenge is finding ways to support these causes behind the scenes, without drawing too much attention to myself.
““What disturbs men’s minds is not events but their judgement on events.””
Staying in balance
I've never really worried about what people think of me, except for those I genuinely know and care about. Why should you worry about the opinions of people who don't know you, who have never even met you? Why would their words matter? It’s easy to say these things, but they come from a place of balance. I’m not an aggressive person, and I don’t have a quick temper. Sure, I can get a bit moody, stand on my soapbox, and have a good rant about things that frustrate me. But I don’t experience that "red mist" others talk about. Similarly, when things are going well, I don’t let success go to my head.
I would say my character is pretty balanced, as I don’t get overly excited when things are great, and I don’t get too down when they’re not. This kind of temperament isn’t something you can teach or explain easily - it’s either how you’re wired or it’s not. In leadership and senior roles, this balance helps. You’re constantly under pressure to perform, and over time, you learn how to handle it and live with it.
“ “Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.” ”
From fixer to coach
As a trained coach, I’ve had to unlearn the habit of entering conversations with a fixer or problem-solver mindset. I'm still in the process of letting go of that tendency in favour of embracing genuine curiosity. I now actively practice asking questions that I don’t, and couldn’t possibly know the answers to. My role as a coach is to help uncover the root of any fears and support my clients in a safe environment, guiding them to decide what they truly want and how to address those fears.
What territory are we exploring in this session?
Personal? Professional? Community? Family? Friendships?
It doesn’t matter where we begin as these areas are all interconnected. My goal is to understand the whole person and help them explore whatever territory they wish to focus on in the session. What's useful for them is what truly matters. Contact me via e-mail for a free confidential 30 minute discovery.
Never complain, never explain
One of my life philosophies is to avoid complaining, which means I never have to explain! Complaining often makes others think that you’re either unwilling to take responsibility for your circumstances or that you lack the competence to handle them. When you complain frequently, you may develop a negative mindset where everything feels like a potential problem, even when there’s nothing wrong. Complaining doesn't improve the situation; it doesn’t help you grow. Instead of complaining, focus on working harder and letting your actions speak for themselves.
Disclaimer: This is not truly how I feel. While the above reflects a certain mindset, I believe in the value of expressing emotions and seeking help when needed.
““Complaining is not a strategy. You have to work hard with the world as you find it, not as you would have it be.””
3-2-1
Three essential rules for achieving success:
Know precisely what you want
Clear goals keep you focused and prevent distractions from deterring you.Determine the cost of what it will take to get it
Success requires sacrifice—understand the price before committing to your path.Don’t bargain over price
Once the cost is known, be ready to invest your time, effort, or resources without hesitation.
Life-long learner
Both Jamaican and Danish cultures value humility. I was raised to stay grounded and not "get too big for my boots." Humility is important, but sometimes you need to set it aside and remember that sharing your accomplishments isn't bragging if you’ve done the work.
I’ve learned that the less I strive for perfection, the easier it is to connect with people. Recently, Casper Emil from SparkForce gave a masterclass for my Brotherhood for Professionals of Color (BPoC) community, and he encouraged us to share our personal brand with more people. Now, I am posting on LinkedIn on a regular basis - wish me luck.
Ubuntu
Ubuntu describes a set of closely related Bantu African-origin value systems that emphasise the interconnectedness of individuals with their surrounding societal and physical worlds. The Ubuntu spirit embodies the idea that “I am because you are, and you are because I am.” It reflects the belief that our individual humanity is deeply interconnected. I think in essence, it means that we thrive through our relationships with others, and no one can exist in isolation. Ubuntu promotes a sense of community, where people look after one another and prioritise collective well-being over individualism.
““If you want to go fast, go alone, if you want to go far, go together.” ”