personal

Be careful out there

It’s challenging to hold the attention of someone determined to be bored. When a person is selfish, self-absorbed, or narcissistic, they gauge the value of your actions solely by how much satisfaction you bring them. In other words, they're content with your efforts as long as you cater to their desires. However, the moment they tire of what you offer, they’ll demand you change to better suit their whims. The truth is, selfish people are never truly satisfied, and the arrogant are never easily appeased. So, if you notice that your ongoing efforts have no lasting impact on such individuals, and that their happiness depends entirely on you meeting their expectations. it’s worth recognising this dynamic as hazardous to your emotional well-being. Prioritising your emotional health is crucial, and knowing when to step back can be empowering.

““If the roots are strong, the tree need not fear the wind.” ”
— African Proverb

It may be offensive

c/o Gillette

When I speak to others, my words must either inform, inspire, support, or bring laughter; otherwise, I choose to remain silent. If the conversation could turn hostile, involve anger or revenge, focus on right and wrong, or risk making someone feel unhappy or hurt, I pause instead. I wait until I can say something that will either inform, inspire them to grow, offer support, or bring laughter. Remember, comments from others can never bring you down!

““No one can make a fool of you without your consent.””
— Wayne Dyer

What's the challenge?

Image c/o LinkedIn

I have become both a sponge and a filter, absorbing everything while carefully choosing what to amplify. On one hand, I want to give voice to important topics, but on the other, I don’t want those topics to be solely associated with me. There’s a risk of losing myself or making it seem like the issue is about me, which could undermine the message. My challenge is finding ways to support these causes behind the scenes, without drawing too much attention to myself.

““What disturbs men’s minds is not events but their judgement on events.””
— Epictetus

Staying in balance

I've never really worried about what people think of me, except for those I genuinely know and care about. Why should you worry about the opinions of people who don't know you, who have never even met you? Why would their words matter? It’s easy to say these things, but they come from a place of balance. I’m not an aggressive person, and I don’t have a quick temper. Sure, I can get a bit moody, stand on my soapbox, and have a good rant about things that frustrate me. But I don’t experience that "red mist" others talk about. Similarly, when things are going well, I don’t let success go to my head.

I would say my character is pretty balanced, as I don’t get overly excited when things are great, and I don’t get too down when they’re not. This kind of temperament isn’t something you can teach or explain easily - it’s either how you’re wired or it’s not. In leadership and senior roles, this balance helps. You’re constantly under pressure to perform, and over time, you learn how to handle it and live with it.

“ “Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”  ”
— Mark Twain
,

From fixer to coach

,

As a trained coach, I’ve had to unlearn the habit of entering conversations with a fixer or problem-solver mindset. I'm still in the process of letting go of that tendency in favour of embracing genuine curiosity. I now actively practice asking questions that I don’t, and couldn’t possibly know the answers to. My role as a coach is to help uncover the root of any fears and support my clients in a safe environment, guiding them to decide what they truly want and how to address those fears.

What territory are we exploring in this session?
Personal? Professional? Community? Family? Friendships?
It doesn’t matter where we begin as these areas are all interconnected. My goal is to understand the whole person and help them explore whatever territory they wish to focus on in the session. What's useful for them is what truly matters. Contact me via e-mail for a free confidential 30 minute discovery.

Never complain, never explain

One of my life philosophies is to avoid complaining, which means I never have to explain! Complaining often makes others think that you’re either unwilling to take responsibility for your circumstances or that you lack the competence to handle them. When you complain frequently, you may develop a negative mindset where everything feels like a potential problem, even when there’s nothing wrong. Complaining doesn't improve the situation; it doesn’t help you grow. Instead of complaining, focus on working harder and letting your actions speak for themselves.

Disclaimer: This is not truly how I feel. While the above reflects a certain mindset, I believe in the value of expressing emotions and seeking help when needed.

““Complaining is not a strategy. You have to work hard with the world as you find it, not as you would have it be.””
— Jeff Bezos

3-2-1

Three essential rules for achieving success:

  1. Know precisely what you want
    Clear goals keep you focused and prevent distractions from deterring you.

  2. Determine the cost of what it will take to get it
    Success requires sacrifice—understand the price before committing to your path.

  3. Don’t bargain over price
    Once the cost is known, be ready to invest your time, effort, or resources without hesitation.

Life-long learner

Both Jamaican and Danish cultures value humility. I was raised to stay grounded and not "get too big for my boots." Humility is important, but sometimes you need to set it aside and remember that sharing your accomplishments isn't bragging if you’ve done the work.


I’ve learned that the less I strive for perfection, the easier it is to connect with people. Recently, Casper Emil from SparkForce gave a masterclass for my Brotherhood for Professionals of Color (BPoC) community, and he encouraged us to share our personal brand with more people. Now, I am posting on LinkedIn on a regular basis - wish me luck.

Ubuntu

Ubuntu describes a set of closely related Bantu African-origin value systems that emphasise the interconnectedness of individuals with their surrounding societal and physical worlds. The Ubuntu spirit embodies the idea that “I am because you are, and you are because I am.” It reflects the belief that our individual humanity is deeply interconnected. I think in essence, it means that we thrive through our relationships with others, and no one can exist in isolation. Ubuntu promotes a sense of community, where people look after one another and prioritise collective well-being over individualism.

““If you want to go fast, go alone, if you want to go far, go together.” ”
— African proverb

Cultural fluency

Have you ever tried to suspend your own involvement and just observe what’s going on?

Yes, one of the advantages of growing up in the inner city of London as a Black person is that you are exposed to a whole host of stereotypes. The only things I have is honesty and openness, therefore, I learned so much from listening to people. I learned that there are two major streams of self-awareness: “me,” which builds the narrative about our past and future; and “I,” which brings us into the immediate present.

The Equinox

Many people in Denmark celebrated Sankt Hans (mid-summer) yesterday. The evening is celebrated with bonfires, communal singing and speeches at both public and private events.
In the UK, we call it the summer solstice as it’s the point of the year in the northern hemisphere when the sun is at its furthest point from the equator, making it the longest day of the year. This is always the time when I reflect on the first half of the year, reflecting on whether I am on track with my mission.

”My mission is to accelerate goal achievement for individuals and teams by providing highly effective learning tools and experiences. I measure success by the positive impact on users' personal and professional lives.”

I know nothing

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional, so please take the following statement as an opinion rather than professional advice.

Stress is a natural response meant to protect you, not harm you. It becomes destructive only when you ignore or mismanage it. Embrace your anxiety as a cue to make necessary changes in your life. Learn mindfulness, practice self-care, and adopt a healthier lifestyle.

“No amount of anxiety will change your future and no amount of regret can change your past. The key is acceptance.”
— Steven Bartlett

Change your perspective

We all have our own perspectives. I think both comedy and creativity are subjective, as a comedian, no one can definitively say your joke isn't funny. In creativity, we get to share what we find beautiful, as if someone else doesn't like it, that's fine by me as it's not for everyone; it's for us. At the end of the day, what matters is whether I like it, and that's my favourite thing.

Morning thoughts

I woke up this morning with Professor Richard Feynman quote reverberating around my head: “If you cannot be corrected without being offended, then you will not truly grow in life.”

1. When you are alone, mind your thoughts
2. When you are with friends, mind your words
3. When you are angry, mind your temper
4. When you are with a group, mind your behavior
5. When you are stressed, mind your emotions
6. When you are winning, mind your ego

It’s official

I am now the Vice President of the Brotherhood for Professionals of Color (BPoC). In this role, I will manage our events and programs while supporting the President and other board members. Together, we aim to connect, mentor, and empower professionals of color, advocating for diversity and fostering a more equitable and inclusive workplace culture. Are you or your organisation interested in collaborating with us? Please reach out via email to discuss how we can work together.