personal

Who are you?

I have lived through decades of love, loss, and transformation, and I now understand a simple truth: my wellbeing is my responsibility. Not my family’s, not my children’s, and not society’s. When you find the courage to let go, you also accept that the safety net you hope might catch you may not. This is not bitterness; it is clarity. By no longer expecting anyone else to carry me, I have learned to stand taller on my own.

““Do not use your energy to worry. Life is too short to worry about stupid things. Have fun. Fall in love. Regret nothing and do not let people bring you down. Study, think, create and grow. Teach yourself and teach others.””
— Professor Richard Feynman

Daily mantra for 2026

The way you feel, the way you respond, and the way you live.

  1. This is going to be the best day of my life, not because it will be perfect, but because I will show up fully present and willing to learn from whatever the day brings.

  2. I control my mind; it does not control me. I do not control what will happen, but I control how I respond, and I choose to respond with joy and love to whatever happens.

  3. I am grateful for what I have right now, even if it is something small, even if the day is not perfect.

Inner discipline creates outer results

Image c/o @bywisewords

I think your mindset, your words, your reactions, and your choices shape your experience of life more than external circumstances do. As they emphasise awareness (what you say, think, and focus on), growth through challenge, gratitude, and the understanding that change and connection are essential to becoming a better version of yourself.
Here are 11 life lessons:

  1. The less you say, the more your words will matter.

  2. Don’t take everything personally as not everyone thinks about you as much as you do.

  3. When you focus on problems, you’ll have more problems. When you focus on possibilities, you’ll have more opportunities.

  4. No matter how much it hurts now, someday you will look back and realise that your struggle changes your life for the better.

  5. You meet people for a reason, either you need them to change your life or you’re the one that will change theirs.

  6. Never be afraid to change something new. Life gets boring when you stay within the limits of what you already know.

  7. You’ll never truly know the value of the moment until it becomes a memory.

  8. Once you begin taking note of the things you are grateful for, you’ll begin to lose sight of the things that you lack.

  9. If you do not have control of your mouth, you’ll do not have control over your future.

  10. Life is a mirror and will reflect back to the thinker what he thinks into it.

  11. The only person you have to face in the morning is yourself. Be unbeatable.

Happy New Year

As we approach the final hours of 2025, I want to take a moment to say thank you to each and every one of you. Every conversation, lesson, challenge, and moment of support has played a part in shaping the person I am today. This year has reminded me of the power of community and the importance of surrounding yourself with people who uplift you, challenge you, and stand beside you through every season. Growth does not happen in isolation, and I am deeply grateful for those who have walked this journey with me. As we step into a new year, may we continue to choose connection, kindness, and people who help us become the best versions of ourselves.
Thank you for being part of my story 🙏🏾

Kwanzaa

Kwanzaa is a non-religious, non-commercial holiday created in 1966 by Dr. Maulana Karenga. Observed annually from 26th December to 1st January, it celebrates African heritage, unity, and cultural identity.

Kwanzaa spans seven days, each dedicated to one of the Nguzo Saba, or seven core principles:

1.     Umoja (Unity):
Building and maintaining unity within the family, community, and nation.

2.     Kujichagulia (Self-Determination):
Defining, naming, and speaking for ourselves.

3.     Ujima (Collective Work and Responsibility):
Working together to build community and address shared challenges.

4.     Ujamaa (Cooperative Economics):
Supporting and benefiting collectively from community-owned businesses.

5.     Nia (Purpose):
Committing to the development and restoration of the community.

6.     Kuumba (Creativity):
Using creativity to leave the community stronger and more beautiful than before.

7.     Imani (Faith):
Believing in our people, leaders, and the justice of our collective struggle.

Jeffrey Brown RIP

I was deeply saddened to learn that my old friend Jeff has transitioned to the other side. Even though our paths have not crossed for ca. 35 years, his passing has stirred many memories. Jeff was an important part of a chapter in my life that I remember with great warmth, and hearing this news has reminded me how deeply people can shape us, even long after time and distance have taken us in different directions.

Rest in peace, champ. Thank you for the moments, the laughter, and the imprint you left on my journey. 🙏🏾

Impress me

The only way to impress me, is by being a good person. I don’t care what you have, what you wear, where you live, or what you drive. I just have deep respect for people with pure hearts and good intentions.

““It doesn’t matter how good you are, people will judge you according to their own insecurities.””
— Unknown

The blueprint is believing in yourself.
The cheat code is discipline and consistency.
The truth is nobody is coming to save you.

Constant distractions

Why do we need constant distractions?
I’m not immune to the endless scrolling, the need to check something, watch something, fill the silence but I have started to notice it more. I remember being a child, sitting at the breakfast table reading the back of the cereal box just because it was there. I wasn’t in a hurry to escape my own thoughts and nowadays that kind of presence feels rare.

I’m not trying to eliminate distraction completely as that’s neither realistic nor necessary, but I do want balance. I want to trust my gut, make better decisions, and avoid being seduced by the wrong things for superficial reasons. And I’m aware that kind of clarity doesn’t come from wishing, it comes from practice.

You have to learn how to use your space.
You have to build the habits.
You have to create a sense of discipline.

Not because you can control everything, but because freedom often begins with structure. What’s your relationship with distraction?

How I come across

I have always been drawn to behavioural psychology. In exploring ideas around status, I have come to understand that it’s not about being “alpha,” I think it’s really about self-esteem and deep personal transformation. I have never chased popularity or felt the need for external validation. Metaphorically speaking, I’ve never entered beauty contests, partly because I have never seen myself as beautiful.

Social engagement

I work with leaders and senior executives to help them lead employees from marginalised and underrepresented backgrounds with greater empathy and confidence. I am not a performer, I’m genuine, grounded, and deeply curious about people. I build meaningful connections because I truly care about getting to know the individuals I work with. This curiosity has shaped my life and career.

I have been fortunate to work across learning and development, consulting, DEI implementation, and coaching. I create a safe, non-judgmental space where people can take off their masks, speak honestly, and share what’s truly on their hearts with the knowledge that they will be met with respect and understanding.

I am what I am

I’m acutely aware that when I enter a room, there’s often an unspoken tension, a silent recalibration of what people feel they can safely say or reveal, especially when their thoughts stray beyond the bounds of polite or politically correct conversation. I don’t have the luxury of stepping out of the body I inhabit as I am a two-metre-tall, heterosexual Black man, a presence that arrives before I say a word and lingers long after I leave.

There’s a cost to carrying this visible identity, a weight that’s both shield and target. It demands discernment: which battles deserve my voice, which silences preserve my peace, and which moments I must surrender for the sake of my own survival. So, I walk carefully, fully aware of what I embody, and even more conscious of the unseen negotiations happening in every interaction.

Navigating unfamiliar terrain

Being in Denmark is like being the main character in “Alice in Wonderland.” Just like Alice, I’m propelled by curiosity and an insatiable appetite for adventure. Every street, conversation, and cultural nuance here challenges me to think differently, to let go of what I knew and embrace what’s unfolding. Denmark isn’t just a place I live; it’s a landscape of puzzles, paradoxes, and possibilities. Alice has unconventional thinking and the ability to adapt to strange situations which mirrors my independent and unconventional nature.

Blushing on Friday

I received the below testimonial from a young man from the Brotherhood for Professionals of Color (BPoC). I am extremely humbled and grateful for the kind words.

““You are an inspiration in your ability to navigate the delicate balance between integrating into Western culture and staying grounded in the core essence of what it means to be a Black man. Your journey reflects both strength and authenticity, showing that embracing one world does not require the erasure of another.””
— David (BPoC)

Economic life lessons

The wealth-building strategy is simple: buy assets at a low price, hold them as they appreciate in value, and then borrow against their increased worth because loans are not taxable. Use the borrowed funds to purchase additional cash-flowing assets. The income from those new assets is then used to repay the loan. Here’s the key: never sell your original investments. Instead, take out a life insurance policy that matches the amount of debt owed. When you pass away, the tax-free insurance payout covers the debt, and your heirs inherit the original assets completely tax-free and debt-free. This is how wealthy individuals build and preserve generational wealth. I recommend you learn this buy low, sell high and never sell your assets strategy.

““A wise man can play the part of a clown, but a clown can’t play the part of a wise man.””
— Malcolm X

Stay aware

Don’t let someone else’s rudeness disturb your inner peace. Your time and energy are valuable and protecting them is essential. One of the most powerful boundaries you can set is to simply let people be who they are. The more you allow others to live their lives without trying to control or correct them, the more ease and clarity you create in your own. It’s a quiet but radical act of self-respect, one that shields you from unnecessary stress and drama. I think at the end of the day, your true power is not in how others behave, but in how you choose to respond.

Time and energy are valuable resources

I remind myself daily that my true power lies in how I choose to respond. I can’t control how others behave, but I can control where I direct my time and energy. Stressing over rude people or petty situations only drains my power, and if I let that happen too often, I risk never reaching my full potential. Time and energy are the two most valuable resources we have, and how we use them shapes the quality of our lives. I think real strength begins by asking myself on a daily basis: Am I investing in my growth? Am I protecting my peace?