In my control:
My attitude
My boundaries
My energy
My response
My self-talk
The way I process emotions
The way I speak
The way I treat others
Who I choose to spend my time with
Out of my control
Aging
External events
Other people’s beliefs & behaviours
Other people’s opinion of me
Outcomes
The future
The past
The way people speak to me
The way people treat me
Time
What others say about me
I think you have control when you take charge of your life, emotions, and goals, as this helps you stay calm and confident in tough situations. One has to stay focused on your goals and stick to good habits as this commitment enables you to bounce back from setbacks and keep moving forward. Challenge yourself to see difficulties as opportunities for growth and be eager to try new things and push yourself to improve. The belief in yourself and your abilities builds confidence, which is crucial for staying strong during tough times and persevering even after making mistakes.
A true leader doesn’t just direst others but inspires them to be the best versions of themselves. Here are some things that you can control:
- Your time
- Your circle
- Your effort
- Your words
- Your actions
- Your integrity
- Your thoughts
- Your reactions
- Your boundaries
If you are not in charge of yourself and your life, for example, your emotions and thoughts, then what you do and what you don’t do, really doesn’t matter as you are not free. I think creating structure and rules may feel limiting like you are giving up freedom, but in reality, you are actually gaining freedom that a lot of people have never ever tasted. Therefore, true freedom comes from being in control of oneself, including our thoughts, actions, and decisions.
““When a man can’t find a deep sense of meaning, they distract themselves with pleasure.””
Image c/o The NY Times
Control is a major human addiction, and thinking we have control by keeping everything in our heads is deceiving. When we combine money and psychology then we’ll begin to understand that there is more to a rich life than just numbers in a spreadsheet. During my study of human behaviour and psychology, I became fixated on this question: "Why do we know what we should do but still don't do it?" I think that regardless of our backgrounds, we can lead a fulfilling life. While a higher income can be a significant aid, similar to improving fitness, we all have the potential to enhance our lives starting from where we are now.
Why is it that most people don’t realise that they have control over their lives?
I have never understood why human beings are so reactionary, they are reactive to their subconscious mind and the feelings and impulses they have in the moment. For example, how would you react when someone is driving irrationally and when they overtake you, they give you the bird (finger)? The natural reaction for most people would be to return the gesture. Now who are you relinquishing control to, the “twat” who gave you the bird or would you remain in control - what would your response be? The outcome would be extremely different depending on which decision you take. I think in general, when you react you relinquish control of the situation, and you only remain in control by not responding.
Saying one thing and then doing another is the foundation stone of modern politics. I think that if you lose your temper in front of people you do not know, you lose their respect, and it is almost impossible to win back. You must keep control – if you cannot control yourself, then you have no chance of controlling others.
“You need to let go!” It’s easier said than done…
Living under stress weakens your physical health and makes you feel tired. I think that there is a powerful connection between emotional culture and business performance.
“The only thing you can really control is how you react to things out of your control. ”
