Do you remember Goldilocks and the Three Bears?
This is a clear illustration of societal conditioning. As you know, Goldilocks is portrayed as a white character with a sense of entitlement, freely acting on her impulses, taking what she wants, and showing little concern for consequences. The narrative appears to condone and even facilitate her inconsiderate behaviour. On the other hand, the Brown Bears are hardworking individuals who maintain their livelihood, food, and lifestyle. Despite Goldilocks' careless actions, the bears are portrayed as submissive, continuing to accommodate her in their home, inadvertently conveying a message of tolerance, acceptance, and patience toward those who resemble the Goldilocks archetype in society.
Fear of the unknown
Everyone makes mistakes, so I think that one should own it, apologise and move on. Don’t spend time explaining or trying to justify yourself even though it’s natural to feel defensive. I think it’s important to understand that human beings don’t always get it right, and you will get it wrong most of the time when you try to defend yourself or make comparisons.
““Sometimes it takes only one act of kindness and caring to change a person’s life.” ”
Why is this so difficult?
Intersectionality was coined in 1989 by professor Kimberlé Crenshaw to describe how race, class, gender, and other individual characteristics “intersect” with one another and overlap. For example, I am both Black and a man, so the lived experiences of discrimination from my perspective as a Black man is different from those of a Black woman or a white man’s.
““Intersectionality is a metaphor for understanding the ways that multiple forms of inequality or disadvantage sometimes compound themselves and create obstacles that often are not understood among conventional ways of thinking.””
Humility and sensitivity
c/o Penn Medicine
I am always going to be misunderstood!
I have been prepared for character assassination, being marginalised, and pushed to the side when it comes to trying to tell the truth about people whose suffering has been rendered invisible for so long in the mainstream narrative. I’m not claiming to be right, and I have been thinking about it for decades, so I am open to challenges to my findings. Raised by deeply humble parents who instilled in my sisters and myself the values of treating others with respect and humility, and to never ever think you are better than anybody else.
““The reason facts don’t change most people’s opinions is because most people don’t use facts to form their opinions. They use their opinions to form their facts.””
A snippet from a coaching session
Here’s a sneak preview of some of the questions I ask in my leadership development coaching sessions:
1. What will my team hold me accountable for?
2. What are the goals I have for my team?
3. How do they make decisions?
4. How do they resolve conflicts?
5. What are my personal goals as a leader?
6. How will I get results in those areas?
Contact me via e-mail to arrange a discovery meeting.
““Curiosity about life in all of its aspects, I think, is still the secret of great creative people.” ”
I can see clearly now
Your perspective is always limited to the extent of your knowledge. I think by broadening your understanding, you open doors to transforming your mindset. By delving into your true history can empower you, instilling boldness, and self-confidence. Not everything needs a reaction; instead master your emotions by training your mind to stay calm, think, and then act with purpose.
““If you cannot be corrected without being offended, then you will not truly grow in life.””
For what it's worth
The Golden Rule: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
When it comes to sales, we should treat others the way they need to be treated. Whenever I lead sales trainings, I encourage salespeople to stretch themselves beyond their comfort zone and be kind to themselves during the learning process.
““Diversity is being invited to the party; inclusion is being asked to dance, and equity is being allowed to choose the music.””
An immigrants journey podcast
My daily mantra encourages me to remain humble, grateful, and optimistic. I think we should all have an opportunity to participate in society, but right now we appear to be letting this opportunity slip away. I was recently interviewed by Mozhgan Gerayeli for her new podcast, “An Immigrants Journey,” and even though she forgot an “L” in Burrell, it may give you an insight into my Danish experience. See YouTube link here.
““If we free ourselves from expectation, the tension between what we want and what we receive will not be so acute.” ”
We can do better
How does racism evolve?
I think racism is a learned behaviour. As children we learn that there is a hierarchical system based on gender, skin colour, religion, social class, and all of the messages convey an idea of superiority for certain societal groups. For example, Black people have been portrayed as inferior, as subhuman, as criminals, as stupid, etc. We are presented with all these narratives on a daily basis in the media, in literature, and in advertisements. This is how we learn from a very young age to internalise the view that being Black is something negative.
““No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.””
The playing field looks different
““If you want people to thrive and be at their best, it’s simple – create the conditions for belonging.””
Joining the dots
““Before I go on with this short history, let me make a general observation – the test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function.
One should, for example, be able to see that things are hopeless and yet be determined to make them otherwise. This philosophy fitted on to my early adult life, when I saw the improbable, the implausible, often the “impossible,” come true.””
Do you dare to be different?
People tell you all sorts of things with good intentions, but they are basing what they are saying only on their own experience which is based on the past. When venturing into new territory, there is no contextual familiarity so that’s scary and unfavourable in these uncertain times. I think that in reality some of the most exciting things you can experience are the things that have not come before.
“
“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.””
Think outside the box
I think embracing diverse perspectives is incredibly impactful for three key reasons:
It allows us to weave a richer and more expansive narrative that resonates with everyone, fostering a sense of belonging and shared purpose.
Rather than pigeonholing individuals into narrow categories based on social or demographic factors, acknowledging their intersectional complexity paints a more accurate and vibrant picture of who we truly are.
Prioritising cognitive diversity not only acknowledges the importance of visible demographic equality as a marker of progress but also underscores its role in driving a genuine evolution toward diverse and innovative ways of thinking.
““We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.””
If this sounds interesting and you would like to hear more, please contact me here, or via e-mail to arrange a meeting.
Manoeuvring between tribes
Effectively measuring a product or service lies in the realm of how it makes people feel. My ability to connect the dots stems from a wealth of diverse experiences, allowing me to see the connection between seemingly unrelated things. This capacity is rooted in psychology rather than technology. In my experience delving into psychology proves more fruitful than pursuing rational improvements when trying to enhance people's emotional experiences.
““I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” ”
Take action
Being a lifelong learner isn’t about taking pride in your knowledge. It's about having the humility to know what you don’t know. I think the most effective employees have excellent self-management skills. Once they know what to do, they will independently navigate the methods for how to do it. All they need is a common goal, and leadership is about creating and articulating a vision that resonates with them, and then building consensus around the common goal.
““Take action!
An inch of movement will bring you closer to your goals than a mile of intention.””
New rules may apply
““The opposite of every great idea is another great idea.” ”
Engineers often perceive a singular optimal solution, deeming everything else incorrect - an approach rooted in the preciseness of engineering and mathematics. In psychology, the contrast lies in the idea that a viable alternative can exist alongside a good idea. Many people believe that the optimal stance is in between the two extremes. I think that when faced with contradiction, one can either embrace both extremes and resolve it creatively with a third idea that solves the problem overall. The average is generally not as good as it looks, it always seems logical, but it really isn’t that great.
Quote of the day
Wake up everybody
““We live in a country in which words are mostly used to cover the sleeper not to wake him up.””
Learning from mistakes
As a human being, no one is immune from making mistakes. I think that learning from your mistakes is one thing, but putting what you've learned into practice is another.
What was I trying to do?
What went wrong?
When did it go wrong?
Why did it go wrong?
““We must learn and grow from our past failures, disappointments and painful experiences. Rest your goals and priorities and move forward. Start today by untying the knots that are limiting you.””
Talking about habits
I think these are crucial habits for a high-value person:
- Discipline
- Working out
- Making money
- Control over lust
- Strong eye contact
- Good body language
““People do not decide their futures; they decide their habits and their habits decide their futures.””