As a DEI advocate one of the things that scare me in Denmark is the gaslighting around racism, homophobia, sexism, etc. If everybody is singing the same song and thinking the same things, then you are setting yourself up for failure as you will be blindsided in your echo chamber. I think that if you put a good person in a bad system, the system will win every time. In the majority of cases the statement is true, the people we surround ourselves with makes a difference. There are some notable exceptions to this statement, for example, Nelson Mandela. In my experience, remarkable people interact with a diverse bunch of people. I think you can get a sense of a person by looking at their social media accounts – Who are they connected to, and who do they follow?
It's just a discussion
If everyone is agreeing with you then you are in an echo chamber and you have just chosen the people to speak to. Controversy is just saying something that someone else just doesn’t agree with. I’m never afraid to speak about any subject that I have knowledge about as I only say things that I believe is fair.
You can book me for workshops, keynote speaking, coaching, DEI trainings or implementation facilitation here.
Know your place
I have developed a resilient mindset in the face of adversity. The truth is I know very well what it’s like to be marginalised and be told subtly or directly that my contribution is not welcome. I have had to tell myself repeatedly, “You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. If they don’t give you a seat at the table, bring a folding chair.”
Are you open to change?
This week I have attended two conferences: “Ethnic Diversity in Danish Journalism Education” at the Danish Media & Journalist High School and “Role Models Will Create the Diversity of the Future” at the Danish Industry headquarters. Yet again it was confirmed that there are double standards bordering on hypocrisy in the Danish culture, as I think integration is a two-way street and the opportunities within DEI are full of cultural blind-spots. I’m fully aware that you cannot be friends with everyone and that whatever point of view you hold, you will upset someone. Why do HR departments in Denmark never have any ethnic minorities in them? Why do DEI consultants who are from minority backgrounds have less access to the job market?
Active allyship
Allyship needs to start with an examination of self, to better understand the power, privilege, and access available to you as an individual, as a result of the different identity groups to which you belong. Being an ally also requires deep education about the communities that you’re interested in demonstrating allyship toward. In Denmark, there is a disconnect between how minorities and majority cultures define allyship. The majority culture in Denmark think the most meaningful action they can take is to speak out about gender discrimination, whereas minorities think the best thing an ally can do is advocate for new opportunities. I think that cultural understanding and empathy are crucial for effective allyship efforts in order to have a more inclusive and collaborative approach to addressing issues of inequality and discrimination.
The overlap
In recent months, our focus has been on exploring how a deep understanding of intersectionality can enhance the sense of belonging in the Danish workplace. We've developed a comprehensive framework that emphasises the difference between equality and equity, and we've introduced an identity wheel as a tool to actively support marginalised groups. Our next step is to finalise the framework and begin testing it within focused groups comprising leaders and managers. Our ultimate goal is to enhance decision-making processes and foster more meaningful interpersonal connections.
Humility and sensitivity
c/o Penn Medicine
I am always going to be misunderstood!
I have been prepared for character assassination, being marginalised, and pushed to the side when it comes to trying to tell the truth about people whose suffering has been rendered invisible for so long in the mainstream narrative. I’m not claiming to be right, and I have been thinking about it for decades, so I am open to challenges to my findings. Raised by deeply humble parents who instilled in my sisters and myself the values of treating others with respect and humility, and to never ever think you are better than anybody else.
““The reason facts don’t change most people’s opinions is because most people don’t use facts to form their opinions. They use their opinions to form their facts.””
The cornerstones of psychological safety
Timothy R. Clark’s book “The 4 Stages of Psychological Safety” highlights that at work, psychological safety is essential for employee wellbeing, engagement, and performance. There are four stages of psychological safety:
Including - Actively promoting diversity and ensuring that everyone's voice is heard and considered.
Learning - Encouraging a growth mindset and recognises that failure is an essential part of the learning process.
Contributing – This involves recognising and appreciating the unique strengths and contributions of each team member.
Challenging - Recognising that innovation and growth often come from questioning assumptions and exploring new ideas.
I think that each of these stages highlights a unique human need that exists across demographics, psychographics, and geographies. Contact me via e-mail for a confidential meeting about your organisations psychological safety efforts.
An immigrants journey podcast
My daily mantra encourages me to remain humble, grateful, and optimistic. I think we should all have an opportunity to participate in society, but right now we appear to be letting this opportunity slip away. I was recently interviewed by Mozhgan Gerayeli for her new podcast, “An Immigrants Journey,” and even though she forgot an “L” in Burrell, it may give you an insight into my Danish experience. See YouTube link here.
““If we free ourselves from expectation, the tension between what we want and what we receive will not be so acute.” ”
We can do better
How does racism evolve?
I think racism is a learned behaviour. As children we learn that there is a hierarchical system based on gender, skin colour, religion, social class, and all of the messages convey an idea of superiority for certain societal groups. For example, Black people have been portrayed as inferior, as subhuman, as criminals, as stupid, etc. We are presented with all these narratives on a daily basis in the media, in literature, and in advertisements. This is how we learn from a very young age to internalise the view that being Black is something negative.
““No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.””
We are a visual species
Prejudice can be based on race and ethnicity, it can also be based on other factors like power, social class, or prestige. We all have a lot of stereotypes based on skin colour but the same is not true of eye colour. I think that both eye colour and skin colour are genetically driven, so why do we attach a different meaning to skin colour than to eye colour?
The pathway to growth
Image c/o McKinsey & Company
Which term accurately describes the issue: racism, discrimination, or prejudice? When these words come to mind, do they empower me and make me stronger, or do they weaken me and promote dissolution?
Integrating language effectively into action is essential for effective communication. It's crucial to ensure that what you say aligns with who you are as your audience evaluates your genuineness and trustworthiness based on this alignment. I think if you approach communication with honest inquiry and ensure that every word reflects your truth, you're on the path to growth - a golden pathway. On Thursday 7th March, Chiara Marmugi will be the facilitator, Phaedria Marie St. Hilaire and myself will be sharing our perspectives and insights on the complex realities of racism in Denmark. Sign up here.
““To make difference in someone’s life, you don’t have to be rich, beautiful or perfect. You just have to care.””
Know your place
In the hierarchy of social class, status plays a pivotal role within the broader class system. Those situated at the upper echelons of society often harbour motivations to rationalise and perpetuate the disparities that separate them from the lower class. Psychologists refer to this as the 'Just World Phenomenon,' which is an assumption that the world operates on a basis of justice, and people receive what they deserve. For example, the belief that good things happen to good people, and bad things happen to bad people. Consequently, people of high social class may justify their own position in society by saying that people who are poor must be lazy and if they just worked harder, they too may be successful.
Relational vs. transactional
What are your intentions?
Relational refers to an approach or style that prioritises building and nurturing interpersonal connections and relationships. In relational interactions, individuals emphasise trust, empathy, and understanding. These relationships are often characterised by mutual respect, cooperation, and collaboration. On the other hand, transactional refers to an approach or style focused on exchanges or transactions between parties to achieve specific goals or outcomes. In transactional interactions, individuals typically emphasise efficiency, clarity of roles and responsibilities, and achieving objectives. And these interactions are often based on agreements, contracts, or defined parameters.
I think when individuals lack a sense of care and support in their workplace, coupled with a lack of opportunities to utilise their strengths and grow, ambiguity regarding the mission or purpose, and unclear expectations, their behaviour may be affected. And given that we are all involved in dealing with people, it's fair to say we are essentially in the business of managing emotions.
What does belonging mean to you?
Belonging means different things to different people! What makes me feel like I belong doesn’t necessarily make you feel like you belong. People have been judging me throughout my life by what I look like, and my conditioning has made me do that to other people. Nowadays, I make a conscious effort not to judge other people simply by what they look like. I think we have to understand our own sense of belonging as we cannot sit back and think it’s just going to happen to us. We have to participate and in order to do that as an individual, we have to be able to articulate what makes us have a sense of belonging.
The playing field looks different
““If you want people to thrive and be at their best, it’s simple – create the conditions for belonging.””
Joining the dots
““Before I go on with this short history, let me make a general observation – the test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function.
One should, for example, be able to see that things are hopeless and yet be determined to make them otherwise. This philosophy fitted on to my early adult life, when I saw the improbable, the implausible, often the “impossible,” come true.””
The complex nature of human connection
What does it take for you to feel like you belong?
Belonging is a deeply personal experience, varying from one individual to another. What makes me feel like I belong may not hold the same significance for you. Throughout my life, I've been subjected to judgments based on my appearance, leading me to realise the importance of refraining from such superficial judgments towards others. Nowadays, I make a conscious effort to avoid such biases. I think that achieving a sense of belonging requires active participation and self-reflection, and each of us must articulate what truly makes us feel like we belong, as it's not something that simply happens to us passively.
“If you want people to think in your organisation, and be at their best, simply create the conditions for belonging.”