trust

Trust yourself

The certainty I have as a coach is grounded in the curiosity I bring to my questions. My coaching language is intentionally simple, inspired by childlike curiosity, and supported by a deep understanding of human behaviour. I believe there is no problem I cannot help my clients navigate because the answers already reside within them. With millions of people facing millions of challenges, it’s not my role to provide solutions but to empower clients to uncover their own. My calmness in coaching stems from this belief—that whoever holds the problem also holds the solution. This perspective is profoundly liberating, as it allows me to approach every session with curiosity, guiding clients through thoughtful questions that lead them to discover their own answers.

If you're ready to unlock solutions to your challenges and gain clarity through meaningful conversations, I invite you to book a free 30-minute discovery meeting with me via email. Let’s explore how coaching can support your growth and success.

Building trust

While offering help shows generosity, asking for help fosters deeper trust because it reveals vulnerability and invites collaboration. For instance, a manager who admits they need input on a challenging project gives their team a chance to contribute, making them feel valued and trusted. Similarly, asking a colleague for advice on solving a problem strengthens the bond between you, as it shows respect for their expertise. Trust thrives in these moments of mutual exchange, creating a stronger sense of connection and teamwork. I think we don’t build trust by offering help; we build trust by asking for help.

Leadership credibility

I think status means nothing without credibility. Research shows that leaders who lack credibility are far less effective at gaining trust and inspiring their teams. For example, a study by Kouzes & Posner found that credibility is the cornerstone of leadership, with 89% of respondents saying they follow leaders they trust. If people don’t believe you belong in a leadership role, it becomes difficult to lead effectively. Credibility is built through competence, which comes from consistently performing at a high standard over time. Leaders like Angela Merkel and Satya Nadella earned respect by demonstrating expertise and making decisions that consistently yielded positive results.

People like us

How can we broaden our trust to include people who are different from ourselves?
I have been asked this question so many times. In homogeneous environments, it's easier to trust people because they behave, think, and learn like us. I think that expanding our trust means embracing those who do things differently. This isn't about insisting that our way is correct, but recognising that there are various ways, including those different from neurotypical methods. These diverse approaches can lead to outcomes better than we ever imagined, and there is loads of data out there to back this up.

Awareness and trust

People only buy from you for two reasons: they know you exist, and they trust you. Awareness is finite; once someone's attention is spent, it’s gone forever. As a result, people are becoming more selective about where they direct their attention. Historically, marketers have often wasted our attention, but moving forward, the successful ones will be those who value, nurture, and cherish it. The biggest mistake marketers repeatedly make is rooted in selfishness and narcissism - believing that just because something was hard to create, people owe them their attention. I think this mindset lacks humility, generosity, and connection. Marketers need to shift from behaving like toddlers throwing tantrums to patiently earning the attention of the people they seek to serve.

Making people feel valued

c/o LinkedIn

Genuine leadership is not about asserting authority; it’s about earning the trust and respect of others through your words and actions. Inclusive leadership, in particular, is the foundation of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI). I recently heard that 70% of employees’ sense of being valued comes from what they observe and hear from their leaders. I think that while leadership can implement policies and programs, the essence lies in the leader's ability to create an inclusive environment.

Stop making excuses

Successful leaders often rely on mentors and coaches to provide guidance, support, and valuable insights, enabling them to navigate challenges and develop their skills effectively. They also demonstrate the ability to address uncomfortable truths with honesty and compassion, which helps to build trust and credibility within their teams. Emotional intelligence is recognised as a critical skill for leaders, as it allows them to be genuine and transparent, thereby inspiring and influencing others positively. In my experience, leaders with strong emotional intelligence are adept at holding themselves and their team members accountable for results without resorting to excuses.

The pursuit of knowledge

Nowadays, we are especially sensitive to signs of trustworthiness in our leaders, and compassion increases our willingness to trust. The smartest people in the world know they don't need to know it all, as highly intelligent people seem to be consistently engaged in the pursuit of knowledge. I think the power of paying attention to our attention is that we become aware that this other stuff is happening that isn’t related to our goal and may actually prevent us from accomplishing our goals.

““The problem is not people being uneducated. The problem is that people are educated just enough to believe what they have been taught, and not educated enough to question anything from what they have been taught.””
— Richard Feynman

Mutual understanding

Do you think that trust is the emotional glue of all relationships?

Trust is the cornerstone of all relationships, acting as a binding agent that holds them together. I think building trust is like forging a path beyond our comfort zones, creating bridges to meaningful connections. It thrives on honesty, accountability, and openness to cultivate and maintain trust in any relationship. Trust might not be the sole emotional glue for every relationship, for example, respect, communication, empathy, and shared values also plays a significant role in sustaining strong and healthy connections.

Articulate a perspective

Leadership is fundamentally about serving others, fostering trust and loyalty through a commitment to the greater good. I think the true essence of leadership lies in service, self-discovery, and self-esteem. And in my experience I have found that effective leaders begin with a deep understanding of themselves, recognising their strengths, weaknesses, values, and beliefs. Healthy self-esteem also plays a vital role, bolstering a leader's confidence and ability to inspire and motivate others. Therefore, understanding oneself by mastering one's own thoughts and actions is essential and ultimately leads to an effective and influential leadership style which benefits both executives and organisations.

Taking risks

Effective communication is crucial for leaders as it enables them to convey their vision, goals, and expectations clearly while also actively listening to their team. Leaders who consistently champion creativity foster innovative thinking and problem-solving among their team members, thereby nurturing trust and reliability within the group. In addition to this, a crucial leadership skill involves the adept management and resolution of conflicts within the team. I think understanding and respecting diverse cultures and perspectives is also important, especially in diverse teams or global organisations.

Big implications and trust

One of the things that I notice about people who have achieved a degree of commercial success, particularly at a young age, is their tendency to become more cautious and defensive. I think everybody knows that once you have had any form of commercial success your jokes are perceived as being really funny and your physical appearance becomes exceptionally attractive. If you start believing the hype, this belief can be seriously detrimental. I can really understand why celebrities form relationships with one another, as they understand each other’s day to day challenges.

““3 components make an entrepreneur: the person, the idea and the resources to make it happen.” ”
— Anita Roddick

How to gain trust?

Open-ended questions encourage the person to elaborate and provide more information, allowing for a richer and more detailed conversation. To probe and gather more information on a specific topic, here are five open-ended questions you can ask:

-       Can you provide more details about [specific aspect of the topic]?

-       How does [specific aspect] impact or influence [broader concept]?

-       What are some potential challenges or obstacles associated with [topic]?

-       Could you share any relevant examples or case studies that illustrate [concept or phenomenon]?

-       In your opinion, what are some promising areas of future research or exploration within [field or topic]?

 

I think that when you get the brain to think differently by asking questions, you are forcing the client to open up and think.

““The young man knows the rules, but the old man knows the exceptions.””
— Oliver Wendell Holmes

Look forward, not backwards

Each time you choose to trust yourself and take action, you can never quite be certain how the situation will turn out. Sometimes you are victorious, and sometimes you become disillusioned. Remember that there are no mistakes if you have learned something in the process. At the end of every day, ask yourself these three questions:

  • What did I learn today?

  • How did I grow today?

  • What will I do differently tomorrow?

Brand with purpose

Your purpose is about where you spend your best energy and where you put your love, and it isn’t always about your day job. Your purpose might be something you are in service of, something or someone you love and care about deeply, or it might be a call to action that you cannot turn away from. Your purpose doesn’t have to be big and dramatic, or even a global one. I feel like the luckiest and most privileged person in the world because I found purpose in my life at a very early age.

Some people are having short term success with hustling and spamming, but it’s trust what makes people continue to buy. We all want to trust brands who help us solve our problems, unfortunately nowadays consumers seem to have very little trust in brands. I think trust is claiming the high ground and stating things that are actually true. In the short run, you may not get a lot of sales as the brands who are spamming and hustling but in the long run they’ll be gone, and we’ll still be here.

Authenticity cannot be bought

Trust is built on making and keeping promises. Authenticity is where you know yourself so well and are familiar with all your strengths and weaknesses, and you can use these tools and communicate is a reliable way. A way which makes you relatable in a very strong way to others, not to everyone, just those who you’ll like to build deep connections. At the end of the day, people will connect with you both personally and professionally on a deeper level if you can make them feel safe, like and trust you. These things are so nuanced in the human psyche and I am dedicated to teaching them effectively.

Design your process

Your role as a salesperson is to present your product or service in a clear, concise, and truthful manner. When you are already selling into an account, educating them about a new product or service is great idea. When selling to a new account you must establish a business need, otherwise the buyer’s will just be curious and interested in learning about your new product or service. Remember that it’s not a good idea to talk someone into something, listen to what they want as making sales is about asking questions and building a trustworthy win-win relationship.

“A man convinced against his will Is of the same opinion still.”
— Dale Carnegie

Awareness and trust

I recently spoke to an audience of designers and brand owners about the fact that when the world is not happening the way you want it to happen then you have a problem not your customers. I started with a bold statement: “I know that you already make stuff that people want to engage with but are you clear about the fact that consumers will only buy from you for two reasons; they know you exist, and they trust you.”


Here are some examples of the questions I posed and answered:  

  • What change are you trying to make?

  • How are you going to spend your time and resources?

  • Would you like to learn how speak up and tell a story that spreads?

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The currency of trust

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I think the currency of trust is when you sense the other person cares as much about you as they do about themselves. Here are some simple generic questions to evaluate where you stand:

  • How's it going?

  • How is what I am doing for you helping or not helping you?

  • What could I do better?

  • Where else do you need help?

  • Did what I do provide value for yourselves and if so, how?

“People don’t buy what you do; they buy why you do it. And what you do simply proves what you believe.”
— Simon Sinek