communication

The moral of the story

One of Einstein’s students once asked him what logic really means.

Einstein replied that he would answer with a question.

He asked the student to imagine two workers entering a chimney to clean it. When they come out, one has a dirty face and the other a clean face. Einstein then asked which of them would go and wash their face.

The student answered immediately that the worker with the dirty face would wash.

Einstein said this was incorrect. The worker with the clean face would be the one to wash, because he would look at his colleague, see the dirt, and assume his own face must be the same. The worker with the dirty face, seeing a clean face, would assume he was clean as well.

The student agreed and said this was logical.

Einstein disagreed. He pointed out that the question itself was flawed. Two people entering the same chimney at the same time would not emerge with one clean and one dirty face. The scenario violated basic logic before the reasoning even began.

The point is simple. Sometimes logic fails not because of a poor answer, but because the question itself is wrong. I think the moral of the story is when that happens, no amount of clever reasoning will lead to the right conclusion.

Clarity creates relevance

Everyone wants to be heard and understood, yet getting people to pay attention remains difficult. Attention is earned by inviting others into a story that matters to them. This is where the seven soundbites framework becomes powerful. It helps clarify the message by focusing on what your stakeholders care about most, rather than what you want to say. I think when the message is clear, people listen and engage. We are all wired for survival. People pay attention when they understand how a story helps them navigate risk, solve a problem, or move forward. Invite stakeholders into a story where they can see themselves and where the outcome matters.

Storytelling broken down

A strong story follows a clear structure.

It begins with the character.
The hero wants something specific. The first task is to define exactly what your stakeholder wants.

Next comes the problem.
Every engaging story is driven by a problem, because problems create attention. If there is no tension, there is no reason to keep listening.

Once the problem is clear, your role becomes clear.
You do not position yourself as the hero. You position yourself as the guide who understands the problem and has helped others navigate it before.

From there, you build the bridge.
You connect their problem to your solution in a way that feels logical, relevant, and achievable.

Then you challenge them to act.
Do not put people in the mind-reading business. Tell them clearly what you want them to do next.

After that, define what is at stake.
Give your stakeholder a vision of a better future if they take action. Show them what success looks like on the other side.

Finally, address the cost of inaction.
Make clear what happens if nothing changes and the problem remains unsolved.

I think this is how stories move people. What do you think?

Be kind to yourself

In Western cultures, motivation is often driven by harsh self-talk and shame becomes the tool used to push forward, yet shame rarely creates lasting change. Instead, it fuels a cycle of resistance and self-sabotage. When you shame yourself for a habit or behaviour, you create an inner split. One part becomes the harsh inner critic, while another takes on the role of the rebellious child. These parts work against each other, consuming energy that could otherwise support meaningful change.

I think self-compassion offers a different approach. When you slip up, treat yourself as you would a close friend who is struggling, with kindness, understanding, and encouragement to try again. This approach does not remove responsibility or excuse behaviour. It recognises that sustainable change grows from self-acceptance, not self-criticism.

Four question framework

This four-question framework helps you explain any topic with precision and clarity.

1. Why is this important?
Begin by anchoring the topic in relevance for your audience. I think a useful approach is to ask a question that meets them where they are.

2. What is this about?
Share the essential facts, context, or background information. I think it’s a good idea to keep it direct and concise..

3. How does this work?
Outline what needs to happen next, and describe the steps, actions, or frameworks that will move the work forward.

4. What if we did this?
Invite your audience to explore possibilities as this is where learning becomes applied. Present scenarios, highlight opportunities or risks, and encourage dialogue. I think this is also the moment to surface concerns and co-create solutions that fit the context.

,

What do you think?

,

c/o Maja de Silva

Does your organisation have a culture of silence?

A culture of silence poses a significant threat to psychological safety. When fear becomes part of the environment, people hold back their ideas, concerns, and insights. This often happens when the message challenges existing norms or raises uncomfortable truths. Even when someone does speak up, colleagues may overlook the comment, minimise the concern, or fail to engage with genuine curiosity.

Here's an example of psychological bravery: A team member notices that a project is heading in the wrong direction because key assumptions are no longer valid. The project has high visibility, senior leaders are heavily invested, and no one has questioned the approach before. Speaking up may risk being seen as difficult, negative, or disruptive.

Despite this, the team member raises the issue during a meeting. They explain the data, outline the risks, and offer alternative paths forward. They speak calmly and respectfully, with a focus on transparency and shared responsibility, even though the message is uncomfortable. I think this action represents psychological bravery because it invites openness in a situation where silence may feel safer. The person places collective success above personal comfort, which strengthens trust, accountability, and learning within the team. What do you think?

Authentic communication

I am not a trained writer, but I have realised something: when you write the way you talk, writing isn’t that hard. The big change for me was when I realised that by getting better at talking it made me better at thinking. Now I aim to speak the way I would like to write, and because I talk like I want to write, I have started to think with more clarity too.

As a leader, this connects to another lesson: when you try to see the fear behind someone’s actions, and focus on what they mean rather than just what they say, you build real understanding. That not only improves communication with others, it also sharpens how you understand yourself. Authentic communication starts with clarity of thought, and clarity of thought grows from the way we choose to speak.

Wise words from Steven Pinker

I came to the topic of common knowledge, that is, everyone knowing that everyone knows that everyone knows something, through my interest in language. In language, most of what we say isn't exactly what we mean. People say things like, if you could pass the salt, that would be awesome. And that's not literally what they mean. They mean, give me the salt. And many of our conversations use euphemism, innuendo, and beating around the bush. How come? Why don't we just blurt what's on our mind? I realized that the answer is that language has to do two things at once. On the one hand, you're conveying a message. The other hand, you are negotiating what kind of social relationship you have. Are you friends? Are you lovers? Are you transaction partners? And that is done through common knowledge. That is, two people are friends if each one knows that the other one knows that the first one knows that the second one knows that they're friends. And so when we use euphemism, I realize what we're doing is we're trying to prevent common knowledge. And that's what led me to the realization that common knowledge is the key to all of our social relationships.

Nobody cares about your agenda

There’s a big difference between telling the others and finding the others. Telling the others comes across as, “I need your support, please tell everyone about me”,  but the truth is, no one really cares. Finding the others, on the other hand, means connecting with people who already share your interests, values, or goals. When they support and spread the word, it reflects positively on them and it makes them look smart, connected, and ahead of the curve. And I think that’s something people actually care about. What do you think?

The golden rules

The 5 Golden Rules of Powerful Communication

  1. Take Responsibility: Focus on your own actions and stay accountable.

  2. Be Specific: Clarity and precision strengthen your message.

  3. Ask the Golden Question: “How can I make this right?”

  4. Avoid the Victim or Blame Game: No excuses, no finger-pointing.

  5. Acknowledge the Other Person: Respect who you are speaking with and their story.

The art of persuasion

What does it take to persuade people to act?

I think it comes down to three elements: Logos, Ethos, and Pathos.



1. Logos – Reason

People need to understand why they should act, the logic behind it, the benefits. Here’s the key: those benefits must be communicated from their point of view, not yours. This means the speaker must understand the audience’s assumptions, beliefs, and priorities and speak from there, not from their own agenda.


2. Ethos – Credibility

Who are you, and why should they listen to you?
 Credibility comes from two sources:

a) Who you are? Your background, authority, or shared values.

b) How you deliver? The tone, presence, and consistency of your message.

Even if your reasoning is strong, if you lack credibility, your message won’t land.


3. Pathos – Emotion

You can have logic and credibility, but without emotion, people don’t move. Your audience needs to feel something, for example, anger, pride, empathy, hope, even urgency. Emotion creates connection, and connection creates action.

When logos, ethos, and pathos are all present, your message doesn’t just inform it will inspires action.

An underrated power

In a world obsessed with hacks, for example, productivity hacks, fitness hacks, and time-saving tricks, one of life’s simplest and most transformative tools often gets overlooked: good manners. I think being nice and polite might just be the most powerful “hack” of all. Why? Because good manners are contagious.

A kind word, a polite gesture, a thoughtful pause before speaking, all set a tone. They ripple outward, shaping the energy of conversations, relationships, and even entire workplaces. When you say “please” and “thank you” regularly, you are not just following a social script; you are signaling respect, empathy, and intention.

“Manners are a sensitive awareness of feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use.””
— Emily Post
,

A free flow

,

One of the most effective and often overlooked strategies is structured feedback. Whether it comes from direct reports, a coach, or even a partner at home, feedback provides leaders with a mirror. It reveals whether intentions are aligning with impact. Yet, in many organisations, feedback remains a neglected tool. Surprisingly, a significant number of senior leaders have never received direct, developmental feedback. Even more striking: many are deeply uncomfortable giving it. Why? I think it’s because feedback is often framed as criticism rather than what it truly is a tool for growth, a signal of trust, and a lever for accountability. When feedback is seen as a gift, it opens the door to real-time course correction and continuous improvement.

Finding truth in fiction

The above image has been my Facebook banner since 2013. It was taken in Sachsenhausen (Frankfurt) around that period.

The past few years have been destabilising, leaving many people questioning what’s true and what they believe. Fear is rampant, and extremists are thriving on it, I think mistrust in Western society is at an all-time high. One of the reasons I love fiction is that I don’t have to question whether it’s real. This makes me more open to the messages it conveys. When something is presented as fact, I have to ask: Who said it? Where did it come from? Is it credible? Can it be backed up with data? With fiction, I can simply engage with the world the author has created. I don’t need to verify its reality. I can accept, challenge, or respond to its ideas however I choose. In a strange way, fiction can reveal deeper truths about reality.

Everyone is capable of being toxic

There is a difference between emotional invalidation and gaslighting. Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where someone intentionally causes another person to doubt their feelings, memories, or perception of reality. The goal is often to control or undermine the other person. For example, a gaslighter might say, “You’re imagining things” or “You’re too sensitive” to dismiss valid concerns. In contrast, emotional invalidation happens when someone dismisses or minimises your feelings, often shifting the focus away from your concerns. While this behaviour can be hurtful or defensive, it isn’t necessarily gaslighting unless there’s a pattern of making you question the legitimacy of your emotions or reality.

,

Trust your instinct

,

I help individuals develop a success-oriented mindset. I think by trusting your instincts and leveraging the power of storytelling, you can highlight the unique story that sets your business apart. Focus on solving meaningful problems as this is the foundation of true impact. Remember, understanding the difference between being right and achieving success is key to long-term growth.

“We don’t build trust by offering help, we build trust by asking for it.”
— Simon Sinek

Tell your story

What have you changed your mind about over the last 12 months?

We often celebrate people who stick to their beliefs and are eventually proven right, for example, leaders who resist pressure to change their approach and succeed. And I think it's easy to feel validated when that happens, however, I've been wrong om many occasions in different situations, and it’s been a humbling experience. Over the last year, I become disillusioned with humanity, particularly when I think about how people behave when they believe no one is watching. It’s unsettling to imagine the choices people make when they feel they can act without consequence. I have found myself wondering, when given the option, will people choose justice? My perspective has changed and I’m no longer as cynical as I used to be. I’ve become more hopeful, hopeful that when good people come together and work with other good people, they can truly make a difference and create positive change.