The art of reading people requires a keen observation of their behaviour, body language, verbal cues, and emotional expressions, all in pursuit of unraveling their inner thoughts, feelings, and intentions. The greatest advantage to possessing the skill of reading people is that it immensely improves our ability to communicate with them. I think by attuning ourselves to the subtle nuances of human interaction, we gain invaluable insights into the perspectives and motives of those around us. It’s a powerful social dynamic and a useful way to facilitate meaningful and harmonious relationships.
You have to choose
I am always trying to understand:
What are people looking for?
Why are things the way they are?
Why is the layout the way it is?
If it is not working on me, why is it working on other people?
What kind of world view would make this communication effective?
““If you are free, you need to free somebody else. If you have some power, then your job is to empower somebody else.””
Change is on its way
Communication comes in both words and deeds, so clear procedures, goals, methods, and deadlines are required. In successful transformations, leaders actively look for ways to obtain clear performance improvements, establish goals in an annual planning system, achieve these objectives, and reward the people involved with recognition, promotions, or financial incentives. Nothing undermines the communication of a change vision more than the behaviour on the part of key players that seems inconsistent with the vision. I think attitude training is just as important as skills training as guilt, political considerations and concerns over short-term results stop people from having honest discussions. It’s not possible to change habits built up over years and in some cases decades after only one workshop.
Contact me via e-mail to book an appointment.
““Language isn’t just a means of communication, it’s a reservoir of memory, tradition, and heritage.” ”
How to influence perception?
Positioning plays a crucial role in defining how a product stands out in the market by delivering specific value to a well-defined group of customers. I think it's essentially about creating a distinct place in the consumer's mind where they perceive the product as uniquely addressing their needs or desires. Starting a conversation with a customer by discussing product positioning is strategic because it sets the stage for understanding the product's relevance and differentiation. By shaping the consumer's perception and expectations, product positioning provides context that answers fundamental questions:
– What is the product?
– What does it offer?
– And why should the customer care?
This context is essential for customers to grasp the value proposition and make informed decisions about whether the product aligns with their needs and preferences.
Emotional feedback
c/o Vector stock photos
Are you familiar with the S.T.O.P technique?
Yes, it’s a communication and conflict resolution method that can be used to address difficult situations or conflicts effectively. I think by practicing the S.T.O.P technique effectively one can resolve of conflicts quickly and improve communication. Here's a breakdown of each step:
• State the behaviour:
Start by objectively stating the specific behaviour or action that is causing an issue. I think this helps to keep the conversation focused on the problem at hand without making assumptions or accusations.
• Tell the person how you feel:
Express your emotions about the behaviour in a non-confrontational way. Use "I" statements to convey your feelings without placing blame on the other person. I think this step helps to promote understanding and empathy.
• Options:
Brainstorm potential solutions or alternatives to the problem together. Encourage open communication and collaboration to find a resolution that satisfies both parties.
• Positive results:
Discuss the potential positive outcomes that could result from implementing the chosen solution. I think this step helps to reinforce the benefits of resolving the conflict and motivates both parties to work towards a resolution.
Rules of engagement
The Chatham House Rule is employed globally to promote inclusive and open dialogue in meetings. It's important to note that meetings don't necessarily need to occur at Chatham House or be organised by Chatham House to be conducted under this rule. Any group of individuals in any sector can adopt the Chatham House Rule as a pre-agreed guide for running an event, particularly when discussing sensitive issues. When implemented effectively, the Chatham House Rule facilitates collaboration, breaks down barriers, fosters idea generation, and facilitates agreement on solutions. The Rule reads as follows:
““When a meeting, or part thereof, is held under the Chatham House Rule, participants are free to use the information received, but neither the identity nor the affiliation of the speaker(s), nor that of any other participant, may be revealed.””
Managing for the future
If you are a manager or leader at any position in an organisation, here is what Mr. Drucker would want you to practice:
Do what you say and say what you do. When you are a leader, people carefully observe you. People try to derive some meaning from every small gesture of a leader. Make sure that your gestures enable people to derive a positive meaning. Keep your promises and be as authentic as you can.
When you are a leader, you are here to ‘serve’ your people. You serve your people and enable them when ‘leadership’ springs from your heart. But when it gets into your head, that is where problem starts!
Leadership is all about performance. You, as a leader, have to build an integrated team and empower them to deliver great results. Leadership is a means to an end. We don’t lead because we want to, or because of our charisma or because of (a romantic idea of) power that comes with leadership. We lead because we seek results.
An ambiguous leader leads an ambiguous team. Clarity in thoughts, words and actions is one of the most important aspect of leading others. When you lead, people depend on you to give directions to them. If your directions are ambiguous, you will easily mislead them. Clear directions are the ones which clarifies expected outcomes, expected behaviors and establishes priorities, standards. Clarity also means that all decisions/directions are aligned with organization’s mission and values.
Most of what Peter Drucker mentioned in his book, “Managing for the Future” is more of common sense (at least from today’s perspective), and I think practicing them consistently is difficult. Have a fantastic Friday and a happy weekend!
Make more money
The ability to think silently is a powerful tool, allowing us to process ideas internally without verbalising them. On the other hand, when it comes to expressing those thoughts, words become essential. I think communication acts as the bridge between ideas and their manifestation, serving as the cornerstone for the highest levels of value creation. And in my experience, the best communicators with the best ideas are often the ones who achieve the greatest financial success.
Make them feel comfortable
Sales involves both a systematic process and interpersonal skills, and effective salesmanship hinges on the art of listening and forming connections with people. The systematic approach entails initial connection, followed by an approach and conversation where you uncover insights about the individual. Understanding this process sets the stage for honing the necessary skills, and I think mastering the art of asking the right questions is pivotal, and this means knowing what to ask and what to avoid. Instead of focusing on oneself, it's crucial to frame questions that encourage individuals to share about themselves, as everyone loves to speak about their own experiences and perspectives.
Find your passion
I think it’s all about connecting your passion with something that’s bigger than yourself. It’s important to figure out what that mission is for you, and for me I do it through storytelling. Storytelling is the oldest and most valuable way we have of passing on our values, echoing from ancient campfires to Homer's narratives in the Odyssey. I really think there is a role in society for storytellers who try and make us better, and as an entrepreneur, I've wholeheartedly embraced this path by mixing my love for coaching to enhance people's lives.
““When we work hard for something we don’t believe in, it’s called stress. When we work hard for something we love, it’s called passion.” ”
Next meeting or more discovery
Communication thrives on stories, and questions are the conduits shaping its course. I strategically ask questions that elicit conversation, aiming to activate their self-disclosure loop. I prioritise actively listening and offering undivided attention to incentivise my clients to share, making them feel valued, and this rapport often leads them to unveil their narrative. In my experience, once they hit the 'too much information' zone, it's simply a matter of leaning back and letting them guide the discussion toward everything necessary to seal the deal. Whether it's about planning the next step, scheduling another meeting, or diving deeper into discovery, I adapt to their language and seamlessly prompt for it.
Following a conversation
In conversations, prioritising active listening stands out as immensely valuable and I think that being mindful of how we listen is crucial. For example, while engaging in dialogue, there might be moments where what's communicated doesn't align. In such instances, a constructive approach involves acknowledging these discrepancies gently: 'Earlier, you mentioned this, but now you're saying something different.' The focus remains on active listening, enabling one to trace conversations over an extended period—observing the apparent disparities and contradictions without accusation. It's not about asserting moral superiority; instead, it's about assisting in framing the situation coherently, highlighting inconsistencies for a clearer understanding.
Communication is the key
If you can control perception, then you can control behaviour. If you can dominate the narrative so people are only hearing one side of the story or one version of the story then you are going to dictate the perceptions of vast numbers of people, especially if they haven’t had any other angle to consider. This is so easy when you are addressing a population who do not question anything:
Q: How do you know that?
A: I saw it on the news
Q: How did they know that?
““In times of change the learners will inherit the world, while the knowers will be beautifully equipped for a world that no longer exists.” ”
Tell them your story
c/o LinkedIn
What events in your life reinforce your belief in the story you're sharing?
Our personal experiences play a crucial role in storytelling because they allow us to tell stories from the heart, and when we do this, the audience can easily connect with and value our stories. The goal of storytelling is to make the audience care or even momentarily forget their own concerns. Personal experiences are vital for achieving this because they make you relatable and enable others to immerse themselves in your narrative. In my experience, the best storytellers often draw from their own memories and life experiences to convey their message. I think the whole world is built on stories - religions, political parties, companies, and various social groups are all using storytelling to promote their ideas. While there's no definitive formula for the best stories, one thing is certain: if you can't tell your own story, others will do it for you.
““Humans think in stories, and we try to make sense of the world by telling stories.””
Life is never static
The essence of a great story is its ability not only to make you care, but also to make people care about its characters and plot but also to transport them away from their worries and pain. This happens because the story taps into our imaginative capabilities, allowing us to immerse ourselves in the storyteller’s world. When we share a story, we can effectively plant ideas, thoughts, and emotions in the minds of the listeners, recreating the experiences and emotions we've had and activating similar areas in their brains. I think this process is what makes storytelling so powerful and captivating.
““Drama is anticipation mingled with uncertainty.” ”
The basics
The neo-cortex is the largest part of the human brain and is associated with various higher-order cognitive functions, including memory, language, and complex thinking. Emotions are closely tied to the limbic system, but they also influence the neo-cortex. I think that when telling stories in a business context, appealing to emotions can make your story more engaging and relatable, as emotions often drive decision-making. Emotionally resonant stories are more likely to be remembered and can influence customer behaviour.
Mastering the elements
Here are five important components of a business story:
1. A sequence of related events
The narrative should unfold in a logical sequence of interconnected events, and this structure keeps the audience engaged and allows them to follow the story with ease.
2. A time and place marker
Clearly specifying when and where the story unfolds is crucial, as this provides context and also helps to establish a connection with the audience, making them more receptive to the story.
3. A central character
A well-defined central character serves as the anchor of the story, and this character should be relatable and engaging, helping the audience connect with the narrative on a personal level.
4. A surprise
To maintain audience interest, introduce an unexpected twist or unpredictable event, as this element adds an element of intrigue and keeps the audience eager to know what happens next.
5. A business point
Every business story should convey a clear and relevant message or lesson, and this could be a strategic insight, a moral, or a takeaway that aligns with the objectives of the narrative. The business point is what makes the story not just entertaining but also instructive and valuable.
I think by weaving these five components together effectively, you can create a business story that captivates your audience, making your message more memorable and impactful. Contact me via e-mail to arrange a meeting about your business storytelling sequence.
Your words are selling you
I think effective communication is crucial, whether spoken or written. When you're speaking, it's your responsibility to ensure your message is delivered effectively and this holds true not only for salespeople but also for sales managers and company leaders. This is because what you say will be shared, forwarded, and copied, therefore, it's essential to craft a well-structured narrative. This way, your message can be easily understood in the moment and remembered when shared with others in your absence. Your written communication should also be compelling enough to sell your ideas when you're not present.
In a coherent way
Effective communication is a valuable skill, especially in sales, where competition is fierce, and every word can make a difference in closing a deal. When you're in a competitive sales environment, it's essential to focus on creating a strong value proposition, highlighting the unique advantages of your product or service, and tailoring your message to meet the specific needs and pain points of your potential customers. I think the winning margin in competitive sales often comes down to understanding your customers and effectively communicating the unique value your product or service provides.
““When people are presented with the alternatives of hating themselves for their failures or hating others for their success, they seldom choose to hate themselves.””
Silent anticipation
Being both empathetic and strategic in your approach to communication is akin to playing a game of chess where you're thinking several moves ahead. It involves considering not only where you want to ultimately arrive in the conversation but also what specific outcomes you aim to achieve. I think the person asking the questions is the person in charge of the conversation, as by guiding the dialogue through thoughtful inquiries, you can influence the direction of the discussion and ensure it aligns with your objectives. Just as a chess player anticipates their opponent's moves, a skilled communicator anticipates the responses and reactions of the person they're engaging with. In addition to asking the right questions, it's crucial to recognise that clients often convey their thoughts and feelings through storytelling, and as a result, effective listening becomes a critical skill. This entails not only hearing the words being spoken but also paying close attention to emotional cues and non-verbal communication, for example, observing body language cues, such as leaning forward in interest or using expressive hand gestures, can provide valuable insights into the client's engagement level and emotions.