I THINK — Stephen Burrell

Stephen Burrell

Consider the power dynamics

c/o Shamillah Wilson ©

How do I, as a coach, embody and demonstrate professionalism, collaboration, humanity, and equity?
There is a strong emphasis on diversity, equity, inclusion, and belonging. This means recognising the identities of different groups, treating people fairly, and understanding that bias and systemic inequality exist, even when they are unintentional or go unnoticed. Our personal beliefs may say one thing, but our actions, biases, and the systems we operate within may tell a different story. That’s why I think it’s essential to engage in self-reflection, challenge assumptions, and actively work toward creating equitable spaces. What do you think?

Hold space for others

How are you holding space for others to thrive?
I think self-awareness is a key component of success in the DEI space. There is so much nuance and ambiguity in DEI work that many of the necessary skills will develop over time. Much of the knowledge required to become a subject matter expert comes from lived experience, trial, and error. Many traditional frameworks and approaches to DEI have failed in the past…
In a world where everything revolves around technology, we must not forget the crucial role that human emotions play.

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Skin in the game

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In my experience, I have discovered a crucial factor that determines the effectiveness of leadership development, having “skin in the game.” Over the years, I have shared leadership insights and strategies with many professionals, sometimes for free and sometimes for a fee. A striking pattern emerged, when people received guidance for free, they rarely implemented it. However, when they paid for the same advice, implementation rates skyrocketed. This observation highlights an important truth: commitment increases when there is something at stake. In our society, money is a common way to ensure this commitment. When individuals invest financially in their growth, they are more likely to take action and extract value from the experience.

Finding truth in fiction

The above image has been my Facebook banner since 2013. It was taken in Sachsenhausen (Frankfurt) around that period.

The past few years have been destabilising, leaving many people questioning what’s true and what they believe. Fear is rampant, and extremists are thriving on it, I think mistrust in Western society is at an all-time high. One of the reasons I love fiction is that I don’t have to question whether it’s real. This makes me more open to the messages it conveys. When something is presented as fact, I have to ask: Who said it? Where did it come from? Is it credible? Can it be backed up with data? With fiction, I can simply engage with the world the author has created. I don’t need to verify its reality. I can accept, challenge, or respond to its ideas however I choose. In a strange way, fiction can reveal deeper truths about reality.

Main Character Syndrome

I recently came across the term Main Character Syndrome (MCS), and it immediately caught my attention. At first, I laughed it off, thinking about those overly dramatic Instagram or TikTok videos where people romanticize their daily coffee runs or city walks as if they’re in a coming-of-age film. And the more I thought about it, the more I realised, we all have a little bit of MCS in us. It can show up in different ways: over-dramatising life events, narrating experiences in a cinematic way, or even seeing friends and colleagues as “supporting characters” rather than individuals with their own lives. I think if we are all the main characters in our own stories, let’s just make sure we’re not forgetting everyone else in the cast.

Mood follows action

Discomfort can be a powerful motivator, but it requires action. To change your state, you have to break the pattern. So, whenever I feel stuck, I don’t wait for motivation, I just move as the shift in my physical state rearranges my mental state, and it works for me every time. I think that action isn’t just the cure for stagnation; it’s the spark that reignites energy, it the key is to do something, anything, no matter how small. Movement creates momentum, and momentum fuels change. You don’t think your way out of feeling stuck; you break free by doing.

““It is through the mistakes that the greatest learning happens on an inner level.””
— Eckhart Tolle

Coaching keys

c/o Forbes ©

A good coach delivers key qualities that foster growth and success, including:

  • Self-belief

  • Self-motivation

  • Choice

  • Clarity

  • Commitment

  • Awareness

  • Responsibility

  • Action

Confidentiality is a fundamental principle of coaching, ensuring that any information obtained during the coaching engagement remains protected unless explicit consent is given for its release. However, confidentiality may be broken if the client expresses intent to harm themselves or others, or if disclosure is required by law.

Silence is golden

Yesterday, I was asked for a list of clients, and I explained that my coaching clients are confidential. As a result, I cannot reveal the names of the individuals, organisations or companies with whom I work with. Confidentiality is the essence of my business ethics, all my clients sign NDAs, and I promise not to use their names or affiliations for any promotional purposes. However, they are free to refer me to their colleagues, family, or friends.

Think about it

Does this strategy still serve you?
Sometimes I tend to ask a question when asked a question, so what’s the deeper impact of holding onto an old approach? I want our clients to connect with what is truly possible and recognise what is timely for them, whether it’s aligning with their values, making intentional choices, or taking decisive action. I think when they tap into their intrinsic "why" and their deeper inspiration, real change becomes inevitable. How does the decision you're making today impact your team, colleagues, family, or even your legacy?

Marking the moment

When a leader demoralises an entire team by undermining a project, when a team member checks out and doesn’t pull their weight, or when a bully forces a future star to quit the organisation, we too often shrug our shoulders and justify it. We tell ourselves that this person has tenure, possesses key vocational skills, or simply insist, “He really isn’t that bad.” I think by doing so, we signal to everyone else that poor behaviour is acceptable and that competence or longevity excuses toxicity.

Over time, this tolerance erodes trust, stifles innovation, and drives top talent away. Those who remain become disengaged, wary of stepping forward for fear that bad actors will continue unchecked. The cost of inaction isn’t just a hit to morale, it’s lost productivity, damaged reputations, and an organisational culture that rewards survival over excellence.The real question isn’t whether we can afford to challenge these individuals, but whether we can afford not to.

Take ownership

When we talk about who feels safe, we need to consider those most at risk of harm. Safety isn’t a privilege, it’s a right. Yet, time and time again, marginalised people are left out of the conversation. Where are the free speech advocates when it comes to calling out injustice? I remember a young woman who was sexually harassed at work by her boss. She felt powerless, unheard, but I couldn’t stay silent. I took action, spoke to the right people, stood by her, and made sure her voice was heard. I’m sure if this happened today, I would probably be cancelled. What do you think?

The Oscar coaching model

The O.S.C.A.R. model makes sense as a solution-focused coaching framework as it effectively emphasises goal setting, understanding the present state, evaluating choices, taking action, and reviewing progress. The flow is logical and encourages forward momentum rather than dwelling on problems.

Outcome - Define the desired outcome and set clear goals for the session.

Situation - Understand the client’s current circumstances and emotions.

Choices & Consequences - Explore potential choices and their impacts.

Actions - Identify the next steps to move forward.

Review - Plan for follow-up and progress assessment.

This too shall pass

Question.

Exchange views.

Speak your mind.

Do not be dictated to.

Do not tolerate injustice.

Do not tolerate ignorance.

Look for different viewpoints.

Keep your mind open to change.

““You will continue to suffer if you have an emotional reaction to everything that is said to you. True power is sitting back and observing things with logic. True power is restraint. If words control you that means everyone else can control you. Breathe and allow things to pass.””
— Warren Buffett

What do you think?

Many critical human skills are often undervalued and rarely taught. For example, how do you navigate difficult conversations? How do you communicate effectively? How do you give and receive feedback constructively? Beyond that, we need to train coping mechanisms and stress management, especially the ability to ask for help. Whether in a personal or professional context, I think you’ll be better equipped to thrive when you have the confidence to say, “I’m struggling, can you help me?”

Change your mindset

Would you like to strengthen your confidence and boldness?
Over the past decade, you've likely heard about the difference between a fixed mindset and a growth mindset. The key to becoming mentally stronger lies in habits. Having studied habit formation for the past six years, I’ve learned that repetition is essential, and success depends on the systems and frameworks we put in place. Many people believe their brains are wired in a fixed way, making it difficult for them to challenge that notion. Self-regulation is tough, but as a coach, I am here to support you and hold you accountable.

Challenging assumptions

One of the biggest challenges in coaching a sales team is bridging the gap between varying levels of skill and motivation to ensure that every member can contribute meaningfully to collective success. Rather than simply elevating the lowest common denominator, effective coaching focuses on unlocking individual potential, fostering a culture of continuous growth, and creating synergy within the team. My approach centres on aligning both the head and heart, I mean engaging team members both intellectually and emotionally, so that they operate with clarity, confidence, and a shared sense of purpose.

Contact me via email to schedule a 1:1 meeting.

The crucial link

I think a lot of what we do is learned behaviour.
Society tells us, "Be yourself," but then turns around and says, "No, not like that.”
Society says, "Tell me how you feel," but only if those feelings are comfortable or convenient. If your authenticity makes others uncomfortable, they reject it.

““The courage to be is the courage to accept oneself, in spite of being unacceptable.””
— Paul Tillich

The price we pay

Apparently free speech a privilege rather than a right, and free speech is only granted if we approve of what is being said. As non-white individuals living in Europe, many of us feel this conditionality firsthand. If we don’t stick to the script, expressing gratitude and happiness for simply being here, then we’re told to leave, to "go back to where we came from." This is what I mean when I speak about privilege and inequality. How would you behave if your immigration status depended on it?

““Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.” ”
— Carl Jung

The issues remain

DEI was created because marginalised communities have not always had equal opportunities for jobs or felt a sense of belonging in majority-White corporate settings. In 2023, 61% of US adults said their workplace had policies focusing on fairness in hiring, promotions or pay. I have some questions regarding your DEI policies:

  1. Who is formulating the questions?

  2. How are the answers structured?

  3. Who is providing the responses?

  4. And in what emotional state are they responding?

Contributing to the community

c/o LinkedIn

In today’s fast-paced world, giving takes many forms, from financial donations to volunteering one’s time and energy. While both have value, I think there is a key distinction: money is a renewable resource—you can earn, spend, and regain it—whereas time and energy, once given, are irreplaceable. That’s why true acts of service, those requiring personal effort and commitment, often create deeper connections and fulfilment, triggering the release of oxytocin.