The size of the commitments we keep to ourselves correlates to the size of the rewards we receive at the other end. For example, if we keep big commitments to ourselves their influence on our self-esteem and the narrative we tell ourselves can be used as evidence about who we really are. Conversely, I think if you break small promises to yourself then you’ll sow the seeds of doubt and weaken your resolve when it come to the larger ones.
Be present
Sometimes the best way to support and help others is to give your undivided attention, reading the room and balancing one’s contributions to ensure a value exchange that benefits all. I think that when you are waiting for a pause so that you can speak, you are not truly listening, and the most important part of listening is the ability to hear the unsaid. Everyone you meet knows more about something than you do, therefore, the goal is to leave people better than when you found them, and show you care more about the people around you.
Don't just tell me
What happens when performance doesn’t match the promise?
Teamwork is generally understood as the willingness of a group of people to work together to achieve a common aim. It’s not enough to call yourself a team just because you work together. I think you are only a team when you trust, respect and care for each other. This also the case with branding, as a very few customers will return a second time when brand performance doesn't match brand promise.
““Pay less attention to what men say. Just watch what they do.” ”
Changing your state
According to Charles Duhigg new habits are created by putting together a CUE, a ROUTINE, and a REWARD. James Clear agrees, and crucially adds a CRAVING which he believes drives the loop, e.g., Cue > Craving > Response > Reward. I think the CUE is often visual but in reality, can be any of the five senses. CRAVING is how you interpret the cue, and it can change depending on your current state. The RESPONSE is the action you take, and the REWARD is always some kind of consequence.
In cognitive psychology the internal states of moods, emotions, beliefs, and identity all effect your behaviour. How you interpret the “cues” should be added into the equation, and your interpretation definitely changes depending on your current state.
““Small differences in your performance can lead to large differences in your results.” ”
The level of intimacy
When self-disclosure works out well, it can have positive effects for interpersonal relationships. I think the purpose of your self-disclosure should be to enhance the communication and the relationship, not to divert attention, seek sympathy, or manipulate the other person. And intelligence is the ability to change your mind when presented with accurate information that contradicts your beliefs.
““People are happy to accept information as long as it’s wrapped in entertainment and stories.””
Ask better questions
I think asking questions is a fundamental characteristic of brilliant thinkers as they understand that questioning allows them to explore new ideas, challenge assumptions, and gain a deeper understanding of the world around them. I also think asking questions pushes the boundaries of knowledge by identifying gaps, challenging assumptions, promoting critical thinking, stimulating curiosity, inspiring innovative solutions, and fostering collaboration. By constantly questioning, brilliant thinkers are able to expand the frontiers of knowledge and make significant advancements in their respective fields.
Know it all
We are all aware that there is a difference between wisdom and intelligence even though it’s quite difficult to pin down. You must always be willing to truly consider evidence that contradicts your beliefs, and admit the possibility that you may be wrong. I think that intelligence isn’t knowing everything, it’s the ability to challenge everything you know.
““Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment.””
How to gain trust?
Open-ended questions encourage the person to elaborate and provide more information, allowing for a richer and more detailed conversation. To probe and gather more information on a specific topic, here are five open-ended questions you can ask:
- Can you provide more details about [specific aspect of the topic]?
- How does [specific aspect] impact or influence [broader concept]?
- What are some potential challenges or obstacles associated with [topic]?
- Could you share any relevant examples or case studies that illustrate [concept or phenomenon]?
- In your opinion, what are some promising areas of future research or exploration within [field or topic]?
I think that when you get the brain to think differently by asking questions, you are forcing the client to open up and think.
““The young man knows the rules, but the old man knows the exceptions.””
Cicero speech structure
Cicero suggested that there were six main parts of a speech:
1. Introduction - Introduce the theme,
2. Narration - Outline your arguments,
3. Division - What are you trying to prove?
4. Proof - Evidence in support of your argument,
5. Refutation - Address oppositions,
6. Summary - conclusion.
Making a mark
We can measure time, units like cost and value, metrics and temperatures, but we don’t know how to measure feelings. And as a result we focus on what we can measure and not on what’s important. I think most people operate on primary motivations and the two default modes of human behaviour are habit and social copying. In other words, do what I have done before and do what everyone else does. Therefore, any new behaviours will take longer to adapt than you think. There are an awful lot of technologies that take a long time to penetrate or to become adopted but what’s really important is how sticky they are.
““If you can’t measure it, you can’t manage it.” ”
Why should buyers choose you?
There are certain things that are commonplace in every industry:
1) You rely on customers and clients for your success, and
2) You will have competitors.
Creating perceived value is subjective and depends on individual perceptions. Even if a product or service offers great features or benefits, its value is only meaningful if it is perceived as valuable by the target audience.
I think that understanding consumer psychology and using data to uncover insights about preferences and motivations will help businesses create perceived value in the minds of their customers. Effective marketing, branding, and communication strategies can influence perception and enhance the perceived value of your product or service. Contact me via e-mail for a confidential meeting about your organisations value proposition.
““The essence of power is the ability to define someone else’s reality and make them live according to that definition as though it were a definition of their own choosing.””
Knowledge sharing
Good communication is essential for conveying expectations, providing feedback, resolving conflicts, and fostering a positive work environment. Leaders and managers should be able to communicate clearly, actively listen, and adapt their communication style to different individuals. I think the biggest communication problem is we don't listen to understand we listen to reply. Contact me via e-mail for an evaluation of your interpersonal communication skills.
““The most powerful person in the world is the storyteller.””
Receive and convey information
The basic communication skills are speaking, listening, reading, and writing. I think successful communication involves a dynamic exchange between speaking and listening as it’s through this exchange that you can build meaningful connections, foster trust, and create a sense of shared purpose. The way you communicate with others and present your ideas makes a lasting impression on people by keeping them engaged. With effective communication and active listening, you will not only convey your message but also establish authentic and mutually beneficial relationships, driving personal growth and collective progress.
Fundamental skills
The ability to listen is even more effective in the personal development arena than just telling your audience to join the mission. As effective communication involves crafting narratives that resonate with your audience, appealing to their emotions, values, and aspirations. By presenting a clear and compelling story, you can inspire others to share your passion and align themselves with your goals. I think effective communication is not solely about talking or delivering persuasive messages, it also entails actively listening and understanding the perspectives, needs, and desires of your audience. The act of listening is a powerful tool in personal development and relationship-building as by attentively listening to others, you gain insights into their motivations, concerns, and aspirations. And this will enable you to tailor your messages and initiatives to resonate more deeply with their interests and address their specific needs.
The oldest tool of influence
When you believe that something is worthwhile, you not only commit to pursuing that goal but also become driven to effectively communicate and persuade others to join you in your endeavours. I think this holds true in both personal and professional scenarios. The art of communication and storytelling, often referred to as sales, becomes essential when pursuing a partner, inspiring employees, attracting investors, building a personal brand, or engaging with customers. The ability to convey your vision, values, and aspirations in a compelling manner is crucial for capturing the attention and support of others.
Clarity 3 of 3
Do or should you care?
I think this question is crucial for individual employees and their engagement within an organisation. When leaders effectively communicate the organisation's purpose, values, and goals, employees will evaluate their alignment with these factors. Clarity in communication allows individuals to understand the impact of their work and whether it resonates with their own values and aspirations. When employees see the significance of their contributions, this fosters a sense of commitment, pride, and engagement within the organisation.
Clarity 2 of 3
What value does your organisation serve?
Identifying the value or purpose an organisation serves is closely tied to its mission. I think this involves recognising the impact the organisation has on its stakeholders, whether it's customers, clients, employees, or the broader community. Leaders should be able to clearly articulate the unique value proposition of the organisation and how it differentiates itself from competitors. This clarity helps employees understand the significance of their contributions and how they can create value through their work.
Clarity 1 of 3
Why does your organisation exist?
I think understanding the purpose and reason for an organisation's existence is essential for both leaders and employees. It also provides a sense of meaning and helps guide the decision-making process. By articulating the organisation's mission and vision, leaders can clarify the overall objective and communicate it to the entire team. This clarity allows individuals to understand how their work contributes to the larger picture and motivates them to strive towards shared goals.
Don't shoot yourself in the foot
Are you familiar with the perverse incentives?
Yes, a perverse incentive is an incentive that has an unintended and undesirable result that is contrary to the intentions of its designers. The cobra effect is the most direct kind of perverse incentive, typically because the incentive unintentionally rewards people for making the issue worse. I have seen many wonderful buildings with useless signage, for example, Heathrow Terminal 5. There are many examples of how incentives can have unintended consequences and lead to perverse outcomes, for example, paying doctors based on the number of procedures they perform, rather than the quality of care they provide as this can incentivize doctors to perform unnecessary procedures. Another example is providing subsidies to farmers for growing certain crops even if they are not in high demand, leading to oversupply and lower prices.
I think that in these turbulent times we should all be aware of perverse incentives as they can arise in various contexts, including government policies, corporate cultures, and social norms. Stay vigilant!
It becomes a different thing
““Change your story, change your life. Basically, that’s what it is.” ”
In B2C decision making we are trying to minimise the risk of regret and in B2B decision making, we are trying to minimise the risk of blame. If you change the story about something, you change its meaning and if you change the meaning, you change our visceral response to it, and if you change our visceral response to it, you basically change our evaluation of it. This is essentially how decision-making works. Things are not things, we respond to things in a context from which we derive meaning, the meaning derives an emotion, the emotion drives a behaviour, and the behaviour then drives an act of post rationalisation.