Overcoming objections with your story

I was recently asked about my unique selling point, I flipped the script and began speaking about my simple recipe for how I get results for my customers. What is the definition of a proprietary process (or trade secret? A proprietary process is a distinct problem-solving methodology for your professional or technology-based service organisation. I think a proprietary process is essential because it creates a framework for how and when you tell your story. The simple elements about my personality and beliefs are powerful differentiators.

I can help you create a story that overcomes objections before you invite your customers to join your sales presentation. Contact me via e-mail when you are ready to accelerate your connection with your customers. Instead of sharing everything, just point at a couple of key aspects of why you are different, for example:
a) What problem is your customer currently facing? 
b) What solution do you offer? 
c) What benefits and transformation will your customer experience by choosing your solution?

---

It's OK to take off your cloak

I watched Glennon Doyle Menton’s “Lessons from a Mental Hospital” TED Talk last week, where she described her journey through anorexia, alcoholism and drugs to not being afraid of her feelings anymore. The talk ended with Glennon telling audience about an e-mail she received…”it's braver to be Clark Kent than it is to be Superman”. Powerful! I guess all superhero stories are a form of escapism and they allow us to imagine what we might do with the ability to fly and the courage that comes from being bulletproof. I think the best superhero stories also explore what it is to be human and our relationship with power.

The majority of humans don’t really want to be liars and withholders, they are just afraid to be real. I wonder why so few people tell the hard truth about themselves, their lives and their struggles? Is it because we are taught from an early age that it’s not safe to share the realness of our challenges? Is it because we are scared of being judged or is it because previous experience has taught us that honesty allows us to be scarred, alienated or rejected when we open up?

One of my close friends likes to speak about being authentic, I prefer to use the word, consistent. We may differ on the words but neither of us are afraid of the uncensored truth. We don’t have to walk in another man’s shoes to feel his pain! Due to my upbringing, training and conditioning I have the ability to sit in oneness with another who is in the deepest pain and find love and connection.

---

We all have issues

Image c/o Afro-Punk

Mental Health Awareness Month has been observed in the month of May since 1949 in the United States. I am in Europe and still thought it relevant to write a little about the topic. Those of you who are regular readers know that throughout my life I have continuously observed human behaviour and consider myself to be mentally strong. I have been exposed to trauma, stigma and systemic discrimination on a daily basis, so I wanted to highlight that we all make mistakes and no one is perfect. Rather than beat myself up for my mistakes, I focus on learning from them and accept full responsibility for my behaviour and then I choose to move forward in a productive manner. How do you feel about making mistakes?

Disclaimer: The content below is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
10 things mentally strong people won't do:

1. They don’t dwell on mistakes.

2. They don’t hang around negative people.

3. They don’t stop believing in themselves.

4. They don’t wait for an apology to forgive.

5. They don’t feel sorry for themselves.

6. They don’t hold grudges.

7. They don’t allow anyone to limit their joy.

8. They don’t limit the joy of others.

9. They don’t get lazy.

10. They don’t get negative or bitter.

Don’t let the world make you hard, don’t let the pain make you hate and don’t let the bitterness steal your sweetness.

---

Juggling many plates

via The Guardian

A few years ago, one of my good friends in Brooklyn switched me onto Dr. Joe Dispenza’s book, “Supernatural”. Being supernatural means overcoming challenges and conditions in your outdoor environment that most people would not be able to accomplish. Supernatural also clarifies the state of being in which you are able to change your body by thought alone to say it another way it means being greater than your body. Many people want to think positively but they are feeling negative, they want to live their dreams and have an exciting future but they feel unworthy. And this means that their body and mind are in opposition. We have to recondition the body in order to create a new mind. How many people do you know who have memorised suffering? I think what they are really saying is no matter what happens, no person, no thing or experience can move them from that state.

The combination of how you are thinking and how you are feeling is called the state of being. We have three brains that allows us to go from thinking to doing, to being. The first brain is called neocortex and allows us to decide on the action to focus our concentration to invent to speculate to have intention or attention. The second brain called the limbic brain which makes a chemical that is called a feeling or an emotion. The third brain is called the cerebellum and it’s responsible for you beginning to develop what’s called implicit memories or non-declarative memories where you have done something so many times that you no longer have to consciously think about it.

Most people wait for crisis, or trauma, or disease, or loss, or diagnosis to really want to change. They wait to the point where ego is brought to such a low level that they cannot go on 'business as usual’ any longer. That’s when we begin to look at how we’re thinking, or what emotions we are living by. My message is: Why wait? We can learn to change in a state of pain and suffering, which tends to be the human model, or we can learn to change in a state of joy and inspiration. Contact me via e-mail if you are interested in change as every time you learn something new, your brain physically changes.

---

Will you be the passenger or the driver in your life journey?

Do you believe that the way you think has an effect on your life? According to neuroscience, your brain is organised to reflect everything you’ve known in your life, your brain is a record of your personal environment and an artefact of your past. The big question: Does your environment control your thinking or does your thinking control your environment?


We could say that you were thinking the same thoughts, performing the same actions that create the same experiences and emotions, but secretly you expect something to change in your life. Now as the environment turns on different circuits in your brain you will begin to think equal to your personal environment. As you see the same people and go to the same places at the same time, it’s the external environment that’s turning on the different circuits in your brain, causing you to think equal to everything you know. And as long as you think equal to everything that is familiar or known to you, you will keep creating more of the same.

“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them. - Albert Einstein”

To change is to think greater than your environment and every great person in history know this. They all had a vision, they all had an idea - they couldn’t see it, they couldn’t smell, taste or feel it but it was alive in their minds. It was so alive in their mind that they began to live as if that reality was actually happening now. So can you believe in a future that you can’t see or experience with your senses yet? But you have thought about it enough times in your mind that your brain is literally changed to look like the event has already happened? Neuroscience says it’s possible. Contact me via e-mail to arrange a personal meeting.

---

Such is the nature of human experience

When you have that big important WHY, that thing that gives you the reason to wake up with enthusiasm. The reason why you want to succeed, why you want to win. The why that tells your subconscious mind the direction you should take if you want to evolve and grow. I have found out what my responsibility is in this world. It’s my responsibility to take what I’ve been given and turn it into something that is was not when it was originally handed to me.


This process is not hard if you are creative, innovative and persistent. In order to master something use these skills and the results will be miraculous. It requires an investment and commitment, especially nowadays when we are in the digital age where everything is controlled by a button. The best things in life requires process and if you run away from the process you will alienate the promise. What I mean is that in order to get to the promise, you have to go through the process. And in the process of going through all that the person who get the most is the person who has shaped the process.

---

The golden circle

My favourite phase of a consultancy project is the discovery phase, I love it as it's a privilege to really dig into how a company does what it does and how it makes decisions. Sometimes it feels daunting at the beginning with a lot of stuff coming at you but it’s always fascinating. People will always do what is in their own self interest first, and do you know why we can’t see it? It’s because we do it too.


Discovering that big important WHY. The “why” is that thing that gives you the reason to wake up every morning with enthusiasm. It’s the reason why you want to succeed and why you want to win. It’s the “why” that tells your subconscious mind which direction you should take when you want to evolve and grow.


Hiring the right people is probably the most important thing that you can do. Contact me via e-mail when you are ready to look into your golden circle.

---

Accelerating the process

This morning I read an article about unlocking human potential. This led me to think about how few organisations understand the value of installing a sense of meaning for their employees, leaders and customers. We all know that sales is the critical interface between supplier and customer, we also know that the role of the sales person is to gain trust and progress guide the customer towards your solution.


I think that if the senior management were to install a deep sense of meaning into the work that they are doing, then the organisation would be significantly more productive, effective and innovative, and more likely to win the customer’s mind. Both employees and leaders would feel a higher degree of engagement and life quality. Would you like to take your organisation to the next level of performance by increasing the sense of purpose and belonging? Contact me via e-mail for workshops, mentorship and coaching.

---

Without action your dreams will remain dreams

You may have heard the below quotation before, have you ever thought about what Thoreau was trying to tell us? I think that the modern implications of Thoreau's quote is rooted in the idea that individuals must listen to their own sense of voice.  

““If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavours to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.” - Henry David Thoreau ”

Thoreau is passionate about the idea that individuals break free from conformist notions of the good. I think that if you have evaluated your career choices from the perspective of “meaning” and have identified something worth pursuing, then evaluated the potential risk and reward which led you to seriously consider pursuing your dreams, and then developed sufficient belief in yourself to take serious action, then all that is left is for you to set goals for yourself and take consistent action toward achieving your dreams.

Illustration c/o iStock

If you are not happy with you current career situation send me an e-mail (confidentiality is assured).

---

Playing safe can be dangerous

I think life is all about taking chances. You may be safer by not taking any risks, but playing it totally safe means you are only existing and not living. I want to live, what about you? Contact me via e-mail if you would like to take a deeper dive…

---

Silos of activity

c/o Getty Images

The majority of you who are reading my blog on a regular basis know that I’m a big football (soccer) fan. There are many parallels between a football team and an organisation. A football team consists of a goalkeeper, defenders, midfielders and attackers. All of them are doing their jobs in different ways but at the end of the game, they all want the same outcome - to outscore their opponents and win the match. You can do things differently, you can have different skills but you are moving in the same direction and this is the way we should want to behave when we are part of a team.


Simon Sinek said, ”Leadership is irrespective of what level we are at.”
You don't have to be in a position of authority to be a good leader and we can show that through our communication. When you just share and tell people something, it's not really powerful. Leaders need to be spending time trying to understand where your people are coming from, what they need and not just feeding them information/data and telling them what to do, as people do not respond very well to that.


It takes strong mental strength for a leader to step back and say what is the best thing that I can do that is going to move the needle forward as a group and build trust. Throughout my career, I have seen many islands of activity! Playing the blame game and pointing the finger at who’s doing it wrong in sales, marketing, production, R&D, etc. What I want to do is enable people, and allow them to support, empathise and learn about each other. Would your organisation like to learn how to communicate as a team and not as individual silos? Contact me via e-mail for coaching, mentoring or workshops.

---

You can afford everything but not anything!

A fundamental principle of micro-economics is that every choice has an opportunity cost. Economists commonly place a value on time to convert an opportunity cost in time into a monetary figure. In other words, opportunity costs represent the potential benefits an individual, investor, or business misses out on when choosing one alternative over another. I think every choice that you make is a trade-off against something else and this does not just apply to your money - it also applies to your time, energy and attention to any limited resource that you need to manage.


The idea of opportunity costs is a major concept in our lives. Saying yes to one thing implicitly means saying no to countless other alternatives and this opens us up to two questions:

1. What really matters to you? I do not mean what society says should and I do not eat what you previously thought may matter to you. I mean when you take that deep dive and examine yourself, what truly matters in your life.

2. How do you align your daily, weekly or yearly decisions in a way that reflects that?

Starting with your daily objectives, as answering these two questions is a daily practice and as lost time can be a significant component of opportunity cost, therefore, why are you waiting? Contact me via e-mail for coaching, consulting, workshops or lecturing opportunities.

The best of the best

I think that there is a huge difference between skill and talent. In my opinion, skill is something you learn and talent is something you are born with. And with very few exceptions, everything in our own lives is a skill, for example, learning to read is a skill, being brave enough to speak up with the truth is a skill, caring about customers is a skill, etc. When telling yourself that you don’t have the talent, “I wasn’t born able to do that!” That story is not based on facts, in fact it’s letting yourself off the hook, it’s an excuse. Remember, skills are easier to acquire today than ever before.


The amygdala is part of the brain's limbic system and it’s here where we process emotions. It’s here where the voice in our heads says, “don’t do that, you are in danger”. This resistance is what makes us hesitant, it’s resistance that makes us nervous before we try something for the first time.


In the western world we have been conditioned to look out for ourselves, ”survival of the fittest”. We are judged on individual performance - how well we do on exams, work, projects, etc. - and are rewarded with awards, promotions and increased wages. How can we connect and collaborate on a level where we are looking at that common mission? People may be rated individually, but what can we do to align and more in the same direction?
Contact me via e-mail for coaching, consulting, workshops and lecturing.

---

Guidance from a mentor

I have been an educated mentor since 2011 and unofficially, I have been guiding individuals to gain clarity in their message for the whole of my adult life. With the mission to identify how they can grow their influence with the right people and build trust in the workplace.


We all want a sense of purpose, a feeling of being connected to the mission for the company that we work for but what is more important is feeling a connection with our colleagues. Collaborating and supporting each other and when we speak up we are heard in a non judgemental way. Many people are lacking a connection to their purpose, they do not know how to create fulfilment in their lives. Many people are lacking internal clarity. Just imagine what it would be like to become better at public speaking, giving presentations or being a better communicator.


In order to help people to become better communicators in everyday life, here’s some example questions I ask mentees:
What do you expect to gain from our sessions?
Who are you as a person?
Where are you struggling?
What is your current mission?
How are you connecting with people in a way that influences and moves them?


Contact me via e-mail and let’s arrange a virtual meeting. I will be thinking about whether I can make a difference for this mentee and in which areas of their careers or business would I be most helpful?

Workshop idea & role play

“To inform is for free, the ‘how too’ requires a fee.” I have been using this quotation for almost 30 years. Anyway, here is a workshop idea based on an exercise from the wonderful “Kill The Company” book by Lisa Bodell.


Play the role of one of your top competitors for a day and see how if you switch perspectives you could figure out ways to kill your company metaphorically. When CEO’s speak about change and innovation they are usually asking the cliche questions, for example, “How do I think outside the box?” or “What’s the next big thing?” Cliche questions generate cliche answers.

Think about ways to eliminate and put your company out of business. Play the game and ask your executives to come up with ways to put your company out of business, then they by definition will be moving out of their current perspective or box, and look at it from the  perspective of a competitor, who wants to destroy your company. Once you identify the threats, you then switch to the opposite perspective and return to being company executives and figure out ways to defend against those threats. You can also use this exercise in other contexts, e.g. “Why did I not get that job that I am applying for?” or “Why are people buying our competitors products?” 


The answers may be simple! Maybe it’s because they see something that you are not seeing or because they believe something that you don’t believe. Perhaps this is because they are telling themselves a different story and you are not able to see that story if you are looking at the world from your own limited perspective. Kill the company is a great way of forcing yourself out of that perspective and into the perspective of someone else. This is better than a collective brainstorm session or being told to think outside of the box. Send me an e-mail and let’s arrange a physical or virtual meeting to discuss a workshop for your organisation.

Success vs. Happiness

Image c/o Haiku Deck

I have always believed that success will not make you happy if you were not happy before becoming successful. I have never tied my self worth together with my accomplishments. There are many people who believe that happiness is over the next mountain and as long as they conquer that next thing or achieve that next milestone - then, that’s going to bring them happiness. In reality, if you are not happy before success, you will not be happy after achieving success.


I think happiness comes not from those big moments that you anticipate, but in the little joys of life, for example, the pleasure of walking in the park and observing the colours of the leaves; the joy of creating a morning smoothie, etc. Happiness comes from the the small moments, not from the big accomplishments, regardless of what it looks like from the outside.


In my opinion, happiness and success are two different things. Success is based on what I’ve achieved and happiness is based on what I feel about myself and about how I feel about what I am doing. Whenever I attempt to interconnect them, I remind myself that happiness and success give a separate sense of meaning and fulfilment.

---

Success is made to be shared

Photo via Mads Nissen

For most of my life I have been fascinated by what triggers human beings to behave the way they do. Why is it that there are so many people in the world who live such joyous lives in spite of almost every adversity, while others who would seem to have it all, live their lives in anger, despair and depression?


We are not victims, we are creators and I care very much about helping people take responsibility for the change they seek to make. And if it makes you a living, then that’s fine, and if it doesn’t make you a living, then that’s a choice. But don’t do it because you are making a living, make a living because you are doing it. 


I think that we should all learn how to learn as it’s the only skill that out-delivers and over performs. Remember, a good mentor will teach you how to think, not what to think.

---

John Wooden RIP

“Success is peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best to become the best you are capable of becoming.”

---

Don't do it alone

Image via Shutterstock

It’s a good idea to have the map before you enter the woods! Don't try to become a coach, an online trainer or monetise content without a roadmap because you'll struggle needlessly, when there are proven strategies you could have implemented right away.


Don't try to build a huge fanbase and truly inspire millions of people without knowing what really works, what business models will sustain you, how to scale and serve well. In order to reach as many people as you deserve, it would be advisable to seek guidance from a marketing/branding expert.


Don't try to get brand deals or work with the big names until you know what the industry is like and how to truly make online marketing work for you 24/7. I think that it’s important for both your loved ones and yourself to get the training you need to win. You deserve it!

---

Food for thought

The concept of pretty has no meaning without the concept of ugly, smart means little without the idea of stupid. We come to understand who we are by understanding who we are not.

---