Three forms of empathy

According to psychologists Daniel Goleman and Paul Ekman empathy manifests in three distinct forms: cognitive, emotional, and compassionate.

1.     Cognitive empathy is our ability to understand other people’s points of view.
2.     Emotional empathy is our ability to respond physically and emotionally to what someone else is experiencing.
3.     Compassionate empathy is what creates the bond between team members within an organisation as well as between companies and countries.

I think you can place concentration as the root of empathy, and the importance of the latter in solving individual, personal and general social challenges.

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The emotional component of experience

What is value to your end consumers?

I think the value to the end consumers lies in the authentic meaning attached to a product or experience. In other words, rather than simply buying something for what it is, people buy what it means because that’s what generates an emotional response and provides genuine significance. This deep-down authenticity of motivation is particularly good news for smaller companies because it can give them the freedom to do something truly innovative and distinct. Nowadays, consumers are increasingly drawn to the intangible aspects of a transaction, I mean this is beyond the straightforward exchange of goods or services. And what makes meaning particularly valuable is that it doesn’t require substantial resources to produce compared to actual substances, making it a more sustainable and impactful element in business interactions. Contact me via e-mail to arrange “an intangible value” workshop for your organisation.

Stories speak to emotions

We all know that there are two sides of the brain, the rational and the feelings/emotional side. In almost all kinds of decisions the emotional side of the brain is predominant, and stories speak to emotions. Nowadays when we are inundated with data and information it’s even more important that we focus on stories. You can speak about numbers, data and facts and leverage that in your storytelling, as the narrative helps us make sense of that data. I think that when we speak to people’s emotions it gathers and results in a higher response. Watch this video and see how changing the message will change the results.

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Reading the room


First, you read what you see - I mean reading body language. Salespersons soon learn that if the customer have their arms folded and chin tucked down with a frown on their face then this is going to take all your skills to get their arms unfolded and make them a little more comfortable. Crossed arms and legs are a clear signal that there is resistance to your ideas. Second, you’ve got the read what you hear. If it’s a two-way conversation you must listen as well as talk. We have two ears, one mouth, therefore, we should listen twice as much as we speak. Listen so that you know how to proceed and the best way to improve your listening skills is to practice "active listening." And finally, you have to pick up the emotional signals, for example, are you coming on too strong? How does your customer feel? etc.

I think reading the room is an art form; first what you see, then what you hear and finally what you feel. Speaking the same language as your customers is a subtle way to make them feel more welcomed. Contact me via e-mail for 1:1 session or to arrange a “reading the room” workshop for your team.

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The old adage

What makes your brand stand out from the crowd?

To stand out from the crowd, you need to know what your audience expects and wants. Being relevant means being personal, joining your audience's conversations, meeting them where they spend time, and talking to them through people that they trust. I think people are attracted and loyal to brands because they form emotional connections to their products or services. I have seen far too many brands spending money trying to get people to like them instead of getting people to want them. It’s important to market your brand with hardcore discipline and core values to people who are committed to your mission and vision. Hire new people who are not like you but complement you. Hire people who have high self-discipline and are passionate about leaving their mark in the world. Keep the people around you who want to help you succeed and have the ability to guide you through difficult transitions with sound experience.

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Big picture before details

In my experience it’s important to make an emotional connection with people and you have to share what you are passionate about. The first question you have to ask yourself when you are creating your brand, product or service is, “What is it that I am truly passionate about?” I think that you have to appeal to the heart before the brain as our brains crave meaning before details. Back in the days when we were running around in the Savannah, if we saw a sabre tooth tiger, we never thought about how many teeth it had. Our first response would be, should I run, or will it eat me? Our brains are hardwired to process information this way and that’s why we need the big picture before the details.

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Balancing the act of indecision

As human beings we have learned to associate certain feelings to certain situations. As sales professionals we have to discover the buyer’s beliefs and values, and then associate not buying with missing out on something. I’m not advocating that you become a salesperson who is pushy, one who doesn’t really care and tries to manipulate buyers. I’m trying to clarify that buying equals pleasure and not buying equals’ pain.

Persuasion is the process of getting your customer to clearly associate their desired feelings or stakes to your products and services. In other words, if we want someone to buy our products and services, we have to get them to link their feelings towards what they want most, and we have to make it compelling and very real for them. And we have to associate not buying with pain - “I’m going to miss out on this opportunity!” - leaving them with the feeling that someone else is going to have something that they don’t have.

Think of something that you recently purchased and be honest, was it something you really needed or was it something you wanted, and then you began to justify it as a need? Here’s another scenario: When was the last time you really wanted something, but you didn’t follow through with the purchase? You had an emotional reason to buy, but you could not justify it logically. Would you like to learn how to give buyers enough reasons to buy? I mean their reasons and not yours. Contact me via e-mail for workshops and sales training.

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Understanding how people listen

I think the basics of human interaction and communication is to speak to others the way you want them to speak to you. I have heard some really bad speakers, but I have never heard a bad speech. When I create material, I try to envisage that I am going to be the receiver, in other words I pretend that I’m in the audience listening to myself. Do you know what I mean? The reason I do this is because I think as a receiver, even if I don’t agree with your point of view, I will appreciate the fact that I am giving an honest effort to delivering what I truly see as the better point of view.


Taking a person from a place where they are right now and giving them the tools to invest in a better future. I think ultimately, people buy emotions and then justify their purchase with logic. Here are a 5 tips on how to create a human context speech:
1.     Greet your audience
2.     Explain early what your speech is about
3.     Speak slowly, use short word sentences
4.     Share what you think or how you feel
5.     End your speech with a conclusion

Would you like to learn how to write an authentic story that truly connects with your ideal customer? Sales happen when we inspire our customers to invest in a better future, please do not manipulate or trick them as sales professionals our mission is to inspire. Contact me via e-mail for sales training and workshops.

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From talk to action

Many people are lacking a connection to their purpose or creating fulfilment in their lives. I love telling stories and I’m passionate about the impact and the effects storytelling has on society. Getting clarity in my message so that I can share it with the right people in the right way, so it can help me grow my impact. I think the biggest communication problem is that we don't listen to understand, we listen to reply as you will never get what you love by attacking what you hate. 

As human beings we are moved by emotion, not by information and data. I help people build that emotional connection whether it's in a one to one conversation or if you have to give a presentation in front of many people. Being your true self and conveying the message in a way that is going to connect. Contact me via e-mail for training or workshops about: How to connect with people in ways that influences and moves them?

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Start with the heart

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I recently asked a friend of mine who happens to be a medical doctor, “Who is in charge, the heart or the brain?” He said, the brain and I said, “I am going to challenge you on that one! You can find many people in the hospital who are still alive - clinically brain dead, but when the heart stops, it’s all over.”

I think that if we look metaphorically at the brain and head, then the brain is mental and the heart is emotional. And if we put them together in harmony, we will have the mental and the emotional - one starts with “M” and the other with “E”, when we put them together we have “ME” and nobody can mess with “ME”.

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