culture

Mutual understanding

Do you think that trust is the emotional glue of all relationships?

Trust is the cornerstone of all relationships, acting as a binding agent that holds them together. I think building trust is like forging a path beyond our comfort zones, creating bridges to meaningful connections. It thrives on honesty, accountability, and openness to cultivate and maintain trust in any relationship. Trust might not be the sole emotional glue for every relationship, for example, respect, communication, empathy, and shared values also plays a significant role in sustaining strong and healthy connections.

Politeness and courtesy

Is it just me or has society really regressed that much?

I had a really good upbringing as a child in South London, where I was taught right from wrong and about being polite. Politeness and courtesy seem to have become less common in daily interactions, and nowadays people seem so surprised when you are polite to them. There might be various reasons for this, for example, cultural shifts or changes in social norms, also, in an increasingly fast-paced world, people might be more focused on efficiency rather than interpersonal niceties. However, there are still many who value and appreciate politeness, this might not always be immediately evident, but small acts of kindness and consideration can make a significant impact, even in a society that sometimes seems to undervalue them. Contact me via e-mail and let me know about some instances where you noticed surprise when being polite.

Context changes perception

Our behaviours are driven by our emotions, our emotions are driven by our perception and our perceptions are driven by context. I think if you change the context by which someone sees the same thing, they perceive it and emotionally respond completely differently. It's almost like tweaking the angle of a mirror; the reflection changes with just a slight adjustment. By altering the circumstances or offering a different perspective, we have the power to change how someone perceives and reacts to the same situation, encouraging empathy, understanding, and even altering behavioural outcomes.

What's in it for me?

I think that when you are quite famous, you will receive invitations to speak from businesses you didn't know existed and gain opportunities and partnerships beyond your imagination due to other people's awareness of you. It’s a fact that well-known individuals or businesses often receive speaking invitations, and visibility can lead to new opportunities. On the other hand, fame doesn’t automatically bring a plethora of unexpected opportunities and partnerships. Success usually involves a combination of factors beyond fame, such as expertise, skills, networking, and strategic decision-making. While being famous can undoubtedly enhance visibility and open doors, the extent and nature of the opportunities may vary, and not every business or invitation may align with the individual's or business's goals and field.

““Who do we give our attention to nowadays?””
— Firelei Báez

Positive light stories

What people say and what they do are often separate things. Human beings have the tendency to show or tell stories to depict ourselves in a more favourable light. A person’s guiding principles can often be seen and felt by their body languages, interactions, and most importantly they are influenced consciously or subconsciously by their own background. I think empathy is a skill, a mindset we need to practice and sharpen. We can develop and apply empathy not just for what we design, but also at work, and in relationships with others.

It all depends

““The price of originality is criticism, and the value of originality is priceless.””
— Burrellism

This quotation suggests that when individuals or ideas are original and innovative, they often face criticism and resistance from those who are more accustomed to the status quo. When in fact the value of originality, in terms of the positive impact it can have on the world, on creativity, and on progress, is immeasurable and truly priceless. Therefore, I think the quotation emphasises the importance of persevering through criticism to achieve the benefits that come with being an original thinker or creator.

The desire to belong

The desire to belong and the significance of social connection are deeply rooted in human psychology, reflecting our evolutionary history and the importance of group cooperation for survival. Research using brain scans has revealed that social rejection can trigger brain activity similar to physical assault, particularly in regions associated with processing physical pain. This overlap in neural response underscores the emotional impact of social exclusion, evoking feelings of loneliness, sadness, and, in severe cases, depression. I think the human brain's strong response to the threat of rejection is linked to our primal fears of isolation and exclusion.

 

On the positive side, social connection and a sense of belonging are known to have a beneficial impact on well-being, providing emotional support, a sense of purpose, and even improving physical health. The individual and cultural variations in the strength of this need to belong and the resilience to social rejection underscore the complex nature of human social psychology. Recognising these findings has societal implications, emphasising the importance of creating inclusive communities, fostering social support networks, and addressing social isolation to promote overall well-being and societal cohesion. Are you feeling alone? Contact me via e-mail for discreet 1:1 meetings.

A life based on reason

Lucky people work very hard, have high integrity, show up on time, have good manners, show high rate of learning, are self-aware, optimistic, kind, and generous. I think that true spiritual warriors seek wisdom and knowledge from everything as no matter how educated, talented, or rich you are, how you treat people ultimately tells all.

““A humanist has four leading characteristics - curiosity, a free mind, belief in good taste, and belief in the human race.”
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— E.M. Forster

Creativity in the moment

We don’t have time in our everyday lives to tap into every little detail before taking a decision, so we tap into mental shortcuts e.g., authority, scarcity, etc., etc., to help us make decisions. And this is why good photography matters, and this is why good design matters, and this is why good branding matters. These mental shortcuts are based on reliable information, unfortunately, designers and brand managers try to exploit these shortcuts for their own gain, by using counterfeit evidence and shady tactics to make you buy their products under false pretences.

 

Social proof is relying on others’ opinions to make choices especially when we don’t have enough information to make an informed decision. Social proof is more effective when the people promoting the product seem like our peers. And that’s why marketers focus on using the terms, “best-selling and highest rated.” As then they don’t have to convince you that the product is good, they just have to convince you that other people think it’s good. And this is why I think social proof can be used for manipulative purposes.

What's social proof?

The first time I came across the term, “social proof” was in Robert Cialdini’s book ”Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion” from the mid-80’s. Cialdini wrote… the principle of social proof says the greater the number of people who find any idea correct, the more the idea will be correct. Social proof is a phenomenon where people follow and copy the actions of others in order to display accepted or correct behaviour, based on the idea of normative social influence. Here are some current examples of social proof, customer testimonials, online reviews, social media shares, celebrity endorsements, and case studies. I think we all use the actions of others to decide on proper behaviour for ourselves, especially when we view those others as similar to ourselves.

Variety is the spice of life

I try to be tolerant with others and strict with myself!
This is what I expect of myself, and this is how I am wired, and this is how I operate best and then I’ll understand that other people are wired differently, they have different ways of living and different ways of being. My job is to figure out how to adapt myself to them instead of forcing them to be like me. It’s my objective in life to express virtues of acceptance and flexibility, meeting people exactly where they are. I think one should look for the good in people and do not try change people to make them just like yourself. Don’t write people off because they don’t reach the same high standards as yourself, lead by example with inspiration and discussions.

Exploit and explore

What does objective truth mean?

Objective truth is something that is true for everyone, whether they agree with it or not. Don’t fool yourself into thinking that something is true that is not or that something is that is not true that is. As humans, we like certainty, we want patterns to be definite and clear. Unfortunately, we are not in an era of certainty and economically we are living in a time that’s extremely muddled. The big question is do you want to solve problems or do you want to win arguments?

““Your greatest asset is your (l)earning ability. Your greatest resource is your time.” ”
— Brian Tracy

Honour matters

Whatever happened to my word is my bond?

Honour and duty are words that still exists in the military, unfortunately they seem to have fallen away in polite society. There was a time when your word was it, and you wouldn’t violate your word because if people knew that if you violated your word nobody would want to do business with you. You can believe me when I say I'll help you as I think integrity is doing the right thing with high ethical standards. Dishonour for me is taking advantage of somebody else’s bad situation for personal gain. On the other hand, if you are willing to put aside your own interests, ego, and ambition because someone else is struggling then that to me honourable.

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Just be kind

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There are far too many people in society who see kindness as a weakness. From my perspective by actively working to improve the lives of others, individuals can contribute to the overall well-being of their communities and promote a more equitable and just society. There are many ethical and philosophical frameworks which highlight the importance of contributing to the betterment of society and helping those who may be less fortunate or facing challenges. However, it's important to note that perspectives on what constitutes a "good life" and the extent of one's responsibility to help others can vary widely based on cultural, ethical, and personal beliefs. Some individuals might prioritise personal well-being and self-improvement, while others might place a stronger emphasis on collective well-being and community support. I think that ultimately, the idea of a responsibility to help others achieve a good life is a complex and nuanced topic that can lead to discussions about ethics, social justice, and the role of individuals within society. Send me an e-mail and let me know what do you think?

““The three C’s of leadership are consideration, caring and courtesy. Be polite to everyone.” ”
— Brian Tracy

Just be good

The concept of a "good life" includes a sense of responsibility towards others, and achieving a fulfilling and positive life comes with an obligation to assist and support others in their pursuit of similar well-being. This viewpoint aligns with principles of empathy, compassion, and social responsibility. I think it’s imperative that we exclusively collaborate with individuals who empower us to excel in our endeavours. This approach stems from a commitment to authenticity, enabling us to consistently deliver a profound sense of service that serves as the foundation for all our endeavours. Central to this principle is the incorporation of our unique perspective, voice, and worldview – a lens through which we perceive the world. This holistic integration, I believe, is what truly strikes a chord with others and establishes a resonant connection.

The devil is in the details

I’m the chef who cooks the meat but doesn’t eat the meat as I’m a pescatarian. When we watch the same film or attending a concert simultaneously, we are not seeing the same film because the parts that we don’t see and have to perceive about the characters is all different. Everybody is seeing a different movie even when we are watching the same movie, so we cannot be caught up in the outcome.

Do not compromise

People who can make an emotional connection between their work and something socially meaningful to them are more likely to find satisfaction. And they are better able to adapt to the inevitable stresses and compromises that come with working in the world. The three things one should never compromise:

1. Your integrity 

2. Your values

3. Your principles

I think you should stay true to yourself in all you do, as authenticity cannot be faked.

““Most of the successful people I’ve known are the ones who do more listening than talking.””
— Bernard Baruch

Think about it

When you win, be kind.
When you are ignored, be kind.
When you are stuck, be kind.
When you are upset, be kind.
When disappointed, be kind.
When you are in doubt, be kind.
When you are scared, be kind.
Kindness is defined in the Oxford English dictionary as the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate. Being kind is not a sign of weakness and I think kindness will always serve you well.

Evolved states of being

The person who exhibits the most kindness in a group often possesses great intelligence. When we encounter someone who differs from us in appearance, behaviour, love preferences, or lifestyle, our initial reaction tends to be either fear or judgment, and this response is rooted in our evolutionary history. As a species, we survived by being cautious of unfamiliar beings, and in order to display kindness, we must suppress this instinctual response and redirect our thinking. I think empathy and compassion are advanced emotional states that necessitate the ability to transcend our primal urges. Unfortunately, those in positions of power perceive empathy and kindness as weaknesses and view vulnerable individuals as mere stepping stones to further their own ambitions.

““People appreciate when you’re curious about them, rather than focusing on your own needs and what you can get from them.””
— Burrellism