belonging

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The pathway to growth

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Image c/o McKinsey & Company

Which term accurately describes the issue: racism, discrimination, or prejudice? When these words come to mind, do they empower me and make me stronger, or do they weaken me and promote dissolution?

Integrating language effectively into action is essential for effective communication. It's crucial to ensure that what you say aligns with who you are as your audience evaluates your genuineness and trustworthiness based on this alignment. I think if you approach communication with honest inquiry and ensure that every word reflects your truth, you're on the path to growth - a golden pathway. On Thursday 7th March, Chiara Marmugi will be the facilitator, Phaedria Marie St. Hilaire and myself will be sharing our perspectives and insights on the complex realities of racism in Denmark. Sign up here.

““To make difference in someone’s life, you don’t have to be rich, beautiful or perfect. You just have to care.””
— Unknown

Know your place

In the hierarchy of social class, status plays a pivotal role within the broader class system. Those situated at the upper echelons of society often harbour motivations to rationalise and perpetuate the disparities that separate them from the lower class. Psychologists refer to this as the 'Just World Phenomenon,' which is an assumption that the world operates on a basis of justice, and people receive what they deserve. For example, the belief that good things happen to good people, and bad things happen to bad people. Consequently, people of high social class may justify their own position in society by saying that people who are poor must be lazy and if they just worked harder, they too may be successful.

Relational vs. transactional

What are your intentions?

Relational refers to an approach or style that prioritises building and nurturing interpersonal connections and relationships. In relational interactions, individuals emphasise trust, empathy, and understanding. These relationships are often characterised by mutual respect, cooperation, and collaboration. On the other hand, transactional refers to an approach or style focused on exchanges or transactions between parties to achieve specific goals or outcomes. In transactional interactions, individuals typically emphasise efficiency, clarity of roles and responsibilities, and achieving objectives. And these interactions are often based on agreements, contracts, or defined parameters.


I think when individuals lack a sense of care and support in their workplace, coupled with a lack of opportunities to utilise their strengths and grow, ambiguity regarding the mission or purpose, and unclear expectations, their behaviour may be affected. And given that we are all involved in dealing with people, it's fair to say we are essentially in the business of managing emotions.

What does belonging mean to you?

Belonging means different things to different people! What makes me feel like I belong doesn’t necessarily make you feel like you belong. People have been judging me throughout my life by what I look like, and my conditioning has made me do that to other people. Nowadays, I make a conscious effort not to judge other people simply by what they look like. I think we have to understand our own sense of belonging as we cannot sit back and think it’s just going to happen to us. We have to participate and in order to do that as an individual, we have to be able to articulate what makes us have a sense of belonging.

Joining the dots

““Before I go on with this short history, let me make a general observation – the test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function.
One should, for example, be able to see that things are hopeless and yet be determined to make them otherwise. This philosophy fitted on to my early adult life, when I saw the improbable, the implausible, often the “impossible,” come true.””
— F. Scott Fitzgerald

The complex nature of human connection

What does it take for you to feel like you belong?

Belonging is a deeply personal experience, varying from one individual to another. What makes me feel like I belong may not hold the same significance for you. Throughout my life, I've been subjected to judgments based on my appearance, leading me to realise the importance of refraining from such superficial judgments towards others. Nowadays, I make a conscious effort to avoid such biases. I think that achieving a sense of belonging requires active participation and self-reflection, and each of us must articulate what truly makes us feel like we belong, as it's not something that simply happens to us passively.

“If you want people to think in your organisation, and be at their best, simply create the conditions for belonging.”
— Burrellism