Begin by listening to the client’s story. When clients feel heard, they become more open to receiving feedback and exploring new perspectives. Ask questions that show genuine interest, because clients respond to care before they respond to expertise. For example: What do you mean by that?

Work to see the situation through their eyes. Summarise what you have heard to confirm understanding, and then build your questions from that shared foundation. For example: Here is what I see in this situation. The actions you are taking are not producing the results you want. Would you like to explore another way to achieve those results?

I think this approach creates partnership, psychological safety, and a sense of shared responsibility for change. What do you think?

What is essential to you, and who are the persons who have helped you become the person you are?

We just don’t get to be competent human beings without a lot of different investments from others, people who have loved you, encouraged you, and wanted what was best in life for you. I know that you have had at least one person who has believed in you. As human beings we are all intimately related, so it will never be the honours, prizes or fancy outfits which will nourish our souls. It’s the knowing that we can be trusted and that we never have to fear the truth. This is the bedrock of our lives from where we make our choices, deep down we all know that what really matters in life is more than winning for ourselves. What really matters is helping others win too, even if it means slowing down and changing direction now and then. I think you don’t make change for others; you make change for yourself.

““It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eyes.” ”

— Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Co-creation coaching approach

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