personal development

A timeless gift

According to logic, the larger the haystack the more difficult it is to find a needle. Imagine a world where everybody could find their needle in a haystack, send me an e-mail to let me know what it looks like.

Moral of the Story: Be thankful for what you have. Be creative. Be innovative. Think differently and positively. When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile. Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear. Keep the faith and drop the fear.

““You must be the change you want to see in the world.””
— Mahatma Gandhi

Dreams inspire the soul

Happy New Year, may all your dreams and goals be fulfilled in 2023. When we have a clear, inspiring vision of our desired future, it can unlock energy and creativity to pull you ahead. To achieve our goals, we must know what and how to learn, then actively search for information in a consistent and purposeful way. We call short-term goals confidence builders, these are goals for the immediate future, for example, tomorrow, this week, this month, this year. In contrast, long term goals are our dreams and visions for the next 3 to 5 years.

  • Where do you want to go?

  • Where do want to be?

  • What do you want to see?

Contact me via e-mail for a 1:1 sparring.

Are you ready to be awakened?

I think that life experience and wisdom are born from emotional pain to help people navigate their own situations. I have genuine compassion for people, and have used introspection after setbacks to gain internal self-awareness. Some major things have happened in my life, and I have been blessed to have some amazing teachers to guide me through. I give back through coaching and have a major impact on people in crisis. I love writing and talking, and I just love seeing people break free from their “old story”. And in this process, I get genuine connection with people and the bulk of my clients are people having an existential crisis.

Detachment yields objectivity

How come I can give valuable advice to others and not follow it myself?
You're probably aware of how easy it is to give good advice to others and how hard it is to know what to do about your own problems. One's ability to reason more sensibly about someone else's problems than one's own is known in psychology as Solomon's Paradox. I think people may show wisdom regarding others’ life problems while being stuck in their problems; Solomon’s sound general wisdom helped him deal with others’ life problems effectively, but he lacked the personal wisdom to live his own life well. The stories of Solomon and the perspectives offered by research suggest that Solomon’s paradox may represent a fundamental and widespread social cognitive bias. So the next time when you are trying to help yourself, imagine you are helping a friend.

To nest in the gale

c/o Getty Images

Among the writings of Henry David Thoreau, I came across this statement: “Many an object is not seen, though it falls within the range of our visual ray, because it does not come within the range of our intellectual ray.” In other words, there are many things that exist in our world that we don’t see because we are not looking for them or perhaps not even capable of looking for them. So, in the largest sense, the world we see is only the world we look for. If you show two people, the same picture each will see a different scene. Each will extract from what he sees that which he happens to be predisposed to look for. The world presents to us every day that which we seek. Opportunity is only limited by the viewpoint of the inhabitant, joy and excitement can be found un our daily lives when we learn to look at our world as Thoreau looked at his. Surrounded by miracles and limitless opportunity, whereas some people manage to find only boredom and insecurity.

“Many an object is not seen, though it falls within the range of our visual ray, because it does not come within the range of our intellectual ray, i.e., we are not looking for it. So, in the largest sense, we find only the world we look for.”
— Henry David Thoreau

Motivational Monday

David Harold Fink (1894 -1968) was an outstanding psychiatrist and medical doctor, and he devised a 30-day programme that will help you realise success. By paying the price to become the person you’ve always wanted to become, you will be in that wonderful minority who lead calm, cheerful and successful lives.

Here are the 6-steps recommended by David Harold Fink:
1.     Set yourself a definite goal.
2.     Stop the negative self-talk.
3.     Stop thinking about all the reasons why you cannot be successful, and instead think of all the reasons why you can.
4.     Trace your attitudes back through your childhood and try to discover where you first got the idea that you couldn’t be a success if that’s the way you’ve been thinking.
5.     Change the image you have of yourself by writing out a description of the person you would like to be.
6.     Act the part of the successful person you have decided to become.

Repeat, and repeat it over and over again. Each time it will become more a part of you until you will wonder how you could have ever lived any other way.

Life is what you make it

How do I become a better version of myself on a daily basis?

Life isn’t fair, and if you think that it is fair then you are in for a rude awakening. Life is a competition and those who are willing to make the supreme sacrifice often win. Some people get off to a difficult start and have incredible obstacles to overcome. I’m hard on myself, trying on a daily basis to become a better version of myself. I am constantly pushing myself to become a better human being and when I am in front of my clients, they can feel that energy. I think everyone is driven by a selfish drive of reputation and the ones who are open to this understanding have a unique opportunity. When working in sales, you can command a nice compensation package because it’s nothing to do with your education and everything to do with your communication skills.

Habits change behaviours

We all have those habits we wish we didn’t, but just can’t seem to break. It can be a challenge, but with some time and effort, habits can be changed. Here is my list of powerful habits: 
- Wake up early
- Practise gratitude 
- Spend time with nature 
- Choose right friends
- Deepen your relationships
- Know yourself better
- Be ok to say no
- Invest in yourself 
- Test your limits 
- Invest in experiences 
- Diversify your income stream

Today is your day

Social media is constantly telling us what other are doing and what interests they have. I think that the most important thing you can do in your life is to know who you are and understand what makes you different and unique. Let’s try a little experiment…
Create a list of things that you love and hate.
Look through the list and then ask yourself, “Is this because of what other people are telling me to love and hate, or does it come truly from within?”
This process in not just about your career or love life, it’s about your mental health. Discovering who you are  and what makes you unique will allow you to become acquainted with your own desires and impulses, and not be controlled by what other people are doing and thinking.

An oldie but goodie

Throwback Thursday with seven tips for increasing productivity:

1. Create a morning routine

2. Make a personal framework

3. Focus and prioritise, don’t multitask

4. Stop mindless browsing

5. Save time by automating decisions

6. Learn to say "no"

7. Accept perfection doesn't exist

“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.”
— Maya Angelou

The magic word is attitude

One of the strangest things in the world is that we tend to minimise the things that we can do and the goals we can accomplish. For some equally strange reason we think that other people can accomplish things that we cannot. We are the only creatures who are disoriented in our own environment because we were given the faculties to create our own environment. If only we realised that we have reservoirs of talent and ability deep inside of us.

“If I want to be free, I’ve got to be me.”
— Burrellism

Ikigai

Ikigai (生き甲斐, "ee-kee-guy") is a Japanese concept that describes the things that make your life worthwhile; the things that give you a deep sense of purpose, satisfaction and joy. Ikigai is made up of two Japanese words, iki (生き), which means life, and kai (甲斐), meaning effect, result, value, benefit, or worth. Iki and kai come together to give us ikigai: a reason to live/to exist.

What is stress?

What is stress?
I’m not a medical expert so I cannot give you a medical answer. One of the best descriptions of the word that I have head was from the marketing guru, Seth Godin, who described stress as wanting to do two things at the same time, for example, stay and go, be quiet and be seen, whatever two things they are. When you are stressed at work it’s because you don’t want to be at work and the same time you want to get paid, and that causes stress.

 

I think that if you are stressed all day long it’s easy to lose all enthusiasm for anything, and what amplifies this is when you are afraid of something; you’re afraid of being insufficient, you’re afraid of doing a bad job and you feel like an imposter. When we add all of this up, modern industrial work is filled with stress and kills passion, so it’s not surprising that there is so much dissatisfaction in the way we do our work. This is why people who can’t find a better path go home and self-medicate with alcohol, pills or Netflix, and the people who can go home and find a hobby or literature that elevates themselves. Contact me via e-mail when you ready to turn your work or hobby into more of a less stressful choice which fills you up with energy and joy.

Why before the what

When you really feel an idea and just don’t take “no” for an answer, it doesn’t take much for us to feel good about ourselves. We don’t have to announce it to the world, we just have to begin, and the small journey will have begun.

“I am so grateful for the circumstances that brought me to this place as all these twists and turns have brought me to this destination. Now I have the opportunity to serve other people as well as to help myself fulfil my destiny.”
— Burrellism